Friday, December 28, 2018

Wake up Sid!!

I have been longing to watch this movie since some time .....and finally this weekend I got the chance to watch it.....again (don't know how many times. ..Lost the count) !! One of my all time favourite movies....every time I have watched the movie .....I have simply loved it!!

Konkana Sen''s character just reminds me of the first time I came to this city ...Mumbai......S had warned me of the harshness of this city....and he was so protective that he even had made me rehearse going to office taking the local train on one of the weekends before my joining into my first job post MBA.

But I still remember that day one....when I had walked down to the station all alone...I had let 2-3 trains pass...scared seeing the crowd....and finally had got into one....When I got down in VT....I just didn't know which way to go...the crowd just had seemed overwhelming.....and like a scared little mice I had just followed the crowd to get out of the station...again lost as to which way to go for office!! And today. ..I just love to roam around the city all alone....without any qualms!!

First day of independence was real scary.....And from that day to today I dont know how and exactly when I fell in love with this city Mumbai....another one of those things which I just didn't realise when it happened!! I may complain....I may be angry with the city for its harshness.....but I know I am in love with it....After all you shower all your anger/complaints on things you love and care about the most....!!

And as the movie at the end your busy schedule you just don't realise who are those special someone's who have helped you develop the connect with as harsh a city as Mumbai....helped you not only adapt to it but also fall in love with it.....just take a moment and reflect and you will find them....maybe right in front of you as well. ..Which u hadn't been realising all along!! 

So for me....if I reflect.....Apart from the obvious spouse factor there have been many friends.....who had been part of the Mumbai journey....and not to forget those who if not physically present here in Mumbai are virtually always there!!

RB and NB the virtual shadows who will always follow....wherever I go, T....the moonh bola brother...who never forgot to get homemade Bhel and Mirchi pickle for me....being a hard core vegetarian had helped me buy fish from the wholesale Colaba fish market....the smell of which can kill even a hard core non-vegetarian, VJ....the over protective fren....who ensured I reached home safe and checked on me whenever S travelled....came hunting for me when I had lost my way once, only South Indian connect to my home town.....Who ensured to get that delicious tamarind rice made for me every time his mom visited, NJ and partners/sisters in crime, AB....salute your illogical patience levels.....had it not been for you guys....!!!You guys are the reason for my love for Mumbai!! 

I wish there was some way to repeat each of the moments spent with you guys....I still remember the pain of parting from each one of you....Life is so strange that only after you part from a close person you realise that person's presence and value. Why can't we just realise the importance when they are right there infront of us....why do we take things for granted....I guess there will never be a logic to this!!

But anyways, good movies,books and music probably are the means to take you back in time and remind you of each and every special person or special moment of your life!! Kudos to Wake up Sid!! Now let me watch Dil Chahta relive some Engg memories as well :)!!

Tuesday, December 25, 2018

A silent prayer!!

As a 7 year old when I had wandered and stepped inside a church for the very first time!! 

Me: (peering into the dark, wondering if I should go inside!! )
Father: Yes, my child....
Me: Can I come inside
Father: Please my child...this church is yours.... You don't need to take permission
Me: Thanks
Father: So, you want to pray for something
Me: I am new in this school.... I don't have frens....As my English is broken...I studied in a town earlier.... Will Jesus help me in making frens
Father: Did you by any chance happen to read the message on the pyre my child
Me: Yes it says " Lord is always with you"
Father: So you made two frens today... One is Lord and second is me... Will you come to visit me Tomm again

And he had taught me how to fold my hands and pray silently....a silent prayer!!

And I had visited the church every single day after that till I left that school when my parents got transferred again. Even today when I visit any church it always reminds me of that very first day.... Of the way I had wandered into that place.. .That fear. . .That inhibition with which I had gone inside . .....And came out with strength!!

I always heard people calling me a Christian because of my name.....I studied throughout in convent schools which strengthened my connection with the religion further........till another Father like doctor one day in a missionary hospital saved my Son.... 

And today, I taught my to fold his hands and pray silently...a silent prayer!! 

Merry Christmas!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Year 2018!!

So here we come to the end of another year.....year 2018!!!

As I reflect back on the year that has passed indeed is a year to remember as S and I had met exactly 10 years back .....and 2018 marks a tick on one of the milestones as we continue our journey together!!

Have ticked another big thing off my bucket list of things that need to completed before I die......of my own little home!!

A lot of things which I had just shelved....and which had been catching dust over the years....I have taken a resolution to restart....thanks to S again for his relentless encouragement.....

I got back to writing....something that I have enjoyed since childhood...and now I am able to notice little moments in everyday life again on which I can write on!!

I have even got back to reading.....the greatest strength and morale booster ever!!

Got back to playing music all day long.....and have made my Son also an addict to it :P....the music lover that he is!! 

After ages S and me loved and laughed over a silly movie and fell so much in love with its songs that we decided to watch it all over again!! Although it felt really silly doing S put it....madness should also be enjoyed as much as silliness...let all of it be a part of our lives....not just the things that make sense all the time!!

After nearly 2 whole years made a new friend....and for the second time till date...I from my side put the efforts ...the introvert that I am....rather than the other way round!!Although, never thought that at this juncture also I have the energy to invest in new people in life!! Felt strangely nice to just invest efforts....distribute some positivity maybe....this time without any expectations...just for the sake of simple happiness!!

Decided to identify and weed out negative things that have/had deep rooted themselves somewhere inside.....successfully have weeded out some for surprisingly when some things repeated out of the blue the pain didn't come back in entirety....I am glad lot of things have erased from memory on their own....and some that remain hopefully will get erased too....

Learnt to get over few setbacks and imbibe some positivity in life....S has been telling me ....something has changed....u seem to be complaining less and seem more positive in life.....thanks to all the things above that have probably helped imbibe the positivity....which I hope is here to stay ....!!

Welcome year 2019.....for new events and new memories that I look forward to unfold!!

Monday, December 10, 2018

The Knight asked the Princess.....So will you walk along?!

Princess asked....Why should I? What if the path is rough?

Knight said....I will take care!!

What if I give up half way!!

I will take care!!

What if I get tired!!

I will take care!!

What if I just can't make it to the end!!

I will carry you....I will take care. ..We will make it to the end...!!

And the Princess walked along with the Knight... And on the way a sweet little Prince joined their walk!!

PS: Happy 10th Anniversary S :)!!

And thanks to A for the post idea :P!!

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Let's Dance!!

As a 3 yr old... Grandpa asked her one day....come let's dance....And she said...but Grandpa I don't know how to dance... Come I will teach you.....but what if I look funny.... Then we will look funny my dear..... and they had danced!!

Last day of school... When everyone called her to dance... She refused saying don't know how to dance!!

In college, her best friend said she would ensure one day she dances....but by the time she got ready to dance....!!

He never bothered to ask her if she danced.....And when he did....She never bothered to answer that she didn't... !!

On graduation.. .She dismayed all by saying she doesn't dance!!

She asked him... Is it OK if I can't dance.. .He said haha it's OK even I don't know how to dance... We will learn together!! 

On post graduation... She just she didn't want to reply again... That she doesn't dance!! 

And years later, another 3 yr old asked her "Muma,  come dance!!" and she did dance and always will be glad to do so for him whenever he asks.....!!

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Finally A B'day Resolution !!

And after 6 long years finally I decide to take a resolution on my B'day to get back to blogging and relive my childhood hobby of writing!! No particular answer to where was I all these years....Life has been as eventful as it always had been....nevertheless ,with the resolution to start afresh from where it stopped :)!

I had started this blog as a 22 year old and it's really interesting to read posts of my 13 years younger self...Also its such a comfort to see that the blogs that I used to read and which in first place has inspired me to start my own blog...still exist...and are still active...

So, what has changed over the years is:

  • The simplicity and the flow of thoughts have taken a beating with the addition of some grey strands if not wisdom!
  • Typing down or for that matter writing seems tedious now ....which ironically I had loved doing since childhood
  • Hobbies have got replaced with practicalities
  • Heart and mind have stopped noticing small little things of life. And even if I notice they don't stay in memory for long
  • A small little dimple cheeked face with curious little eyes and an infectious smile has hijacked all priorities in life and made himself one single priority!!
  • No more ambitions in life but materialism has seeped in to some extent
  • Realization that life has got an expiry date 
  • Memories of the past have stopped haunting as dreams
  • Can speak on things of the past with acquaintances and strangers now! (Someone had once told me...the day you can do this...that day you can tell yourself you got over it)
  • Trust and forgiveness come more easily now.....have learnt to be ok with making mistakes...and enjoy while it lasts not worrying for the mistake to unfold
  • Tears flow easily now....though not so much in public but otherwise...infact I would love to have some control on them....
  • Stopped judging people....and stopped being affected by the other way round as well
  • Coffee has got replaced with Tea....although I still love the smell of Coffee
  • Love for chocolates remains :)
  • Still love to walk in the light drizzle but walking in the rain is no more a thrill
  • Still love to be with myself
  • Favorite pass time still remains closing my eyes and listening to songs over and over again. Just that the songs in the list have got replaced.
  • Still reflect into the past on B'days and New Year's and be nostalgic !!
  • Still love watching FRIENDS
  • Still love watching out of the window....and reflect ....just the home has changed
  • Acceptance of Life as it is to some extent has happened hopefully
  • Reading has stopped completely
  • Still love to cook and clean
  • Each and every festival and special days , which was just another day earlier, I ensure to celebrate now
  • Still call myself an Introvert 
  • Still love to walk from the gate to the building and tumble upon the evening Arati
  • Still averse to change and love to settle down in comfort zone
  • Still love to be busy to the brim with no time to breathe ....but now leisure doesnt discomfort anymore
  • Still love the nights more than the day
  • Still love to sleep late into the morning and remain awake late into the night.....and love to see my little Son fall asleep trying desperately to keep his eyes open!! 
  • Still bad at keeping in touch with old frens and brooding over it
  • Still love to be as mysterious as ever

As resolutions and promises are meant to be broken....Hope I live upto this one :P!!