Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Year 2007 to a close :)!!

Last few days have been pretty eventful with our account at work place being decorated with colourful ribbons and balloons and Christmas trees, sparkling stars and not to miss the snow clad Santa put up right at the reception. And who can ever make out that the smiling and greeting Santa at the reception is actually made out of a dustbin placed upside down and clad with paper and cotton. And there sits the Christmas tree right infront of the doorway beautifully decorated with colourful papers and tiny gift wrapped boxes and tiny little bells with bits of cotton depicting snow making it look all the more beautiful. So, that’s what people in the account have been doing effectively from the past few days…and I must say they have done a real good job…it feels so nice and cheerful walking down the floor with all the glitter around. Not to miss on those momentary blasts of the balloons right over the top of ur head while you are deep into your system :))!!Probably, the decorations in our account will remain till the New year’s eve…so we cannot escape witnessing each of those balloons bid a pompous farewell to all of us with a blast :)!!
And this new year I have gifted myself with three nice novels..”The Kite Runner”,”Snow” by Orhan Pamuk and “Devil wears Prada”.It feels so nice to see the neatly bounded books, with the smell of freshness that the newly bought books typically have around them…waiting to be devoured and re-discovered.I am still unable to decide which one to start with !!Someone at the office asked me if she could borrow one of them for me till I am done with the other two and I had to refuse.I don’t know why but I just can’t bring myself to lend unread books to people even if I am not reading them at that point. I got to read the book first before I lend it to someone.I know it sounds a bit strange but then I feel that every book that I lend I must be the first one to get acquainted with it before I let someone else to do so…afterall I am the owner…I need to own it in the true sense first.Well a few strange things that u do cannot really have a logical answer to them…u just like to do it in that way that’s it :)!
So, my new year seems to have already begun…with three new novels to go and what with celebrations and decorations all around the place..As for resolutions, well I have decided to get back to my reading…read more books and strengthen my hobby. Its been long since I actually sat back and done some reading for pleasure and its high time I get back to it.

2007 finally coming to a close…
some years when they end you just can’t believe that the year has already come to a close…they seem to just go so fast
Some years are very special…you remember them because some significant things of ur life happen in those years…
Some years you just don’t recollect bcoz u just never happen to look back at them….they seem to have no significance absolutely
But this year hadn’t been any of those…Although, I am sure this year will definitely stay as a remembrance…not only because I lost someone so dear to me but also because it had driven in a lot more learning and wisdom home where I understood that I had gone ahead one step more in being more matured and understanding life a little more than before. It had been a special year …special in its own way…and special enough to be looked back upon and smiled at :).

Friday, December 14, 2007

Yet , Once again



Another year coming to a close
A year that had started off with few new aspirations and hopes
Although a few ambitions remained unfulfilled……but the learning will be there
A few achievements that had come my way
Bringing along a few smiles and a few celebrations
A few moments of silence that were there….. experiencing the stillness of death
Few new people that I met and learnt from
A few old relations that strengthened further by a year
A few days when life had paused and again had picked up pace
A few bumps and pitfalls that drove in some lessons home
Sunlit days and cold winters
A year that hadn’t been all that smooth but it did have its share of smiles and pauses
And yet, once again
A new year will unfold in another fortnight
With loads of wishes and celebrations
Bringing home new hopes and promises
I will look forward to it once again……. as each day of the New Year unfolds
Greeting it with new dreams and anticipations
And when I look back at this year
Yet, once again a smile will spread laden with unblemished memories

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

I always thought that my writing about a particular novel that I liked reading wouldn’t do justice in actually being able to put it in words the way it captivated me and influenced me.But there is this one book that I had read way back which I keep thinking of very often. Everytime I hear anybody crib about how much they hate their present day or whenever I get frustrated with the way things are going on a particular day I remember this book and it surely helps by providing me immense solace. The book is ‘Five People You Meet in Heaven’ by Albom Mitch.I will not really get into details of the book here bcoz if I do I will seriously feel guilty for not doing justice to the book so well written by the author that it actually has an impact on the way you perceive things in life.This book talks about a person who after his death realises the true place where he belonged to ….the place which he had always hated to be in while he was living turns out to be the place where he decides to live till eternity.A beautiful book which goes into describing every minute details and learnings that can be achieved from all the different phases of life and puts across a subtle message….tht we really need to realize and appreciate what we possess in our lives.
Really, I wonder if we all assume that we have a choice and ask ourselves tht which phase of our lives would we choose as our final destination to stay for eternity….we might just end up deciding on the phase of life which we thot we had hated the most. Life is really strange isn’t it…as long as we have something we crave for what has passed.We long to go back to it and when we go back to it we again long for what we had possessed. Very rarely do we actually appreciate and enjoy doing what we possess currently.And why is it that we all look for an escape from what we have…there have been innumerable times when I have heard myself and others looking for an escape from the professional life we are leading….isn’t it the same profession we were longing for when we were in college.I think it’s a vicious circle. The book clearly outlines this fact….it makes u realize tht u actually unknowingly love doing what u think u want to escape from.
There is another book of Albom Mitch that I had loved reading “Tuesday’s with Morrie”.Another wonderful book unfolding many a subtle lessons and binding truths of life.These books are the ones that leave u thinking and ur thots lingering in and around them after u read them.They leave you with a complete new perspective towards life.And any amount of writing and appreciation just cannot put forth the pleasure and the learning that is derived by reading these books.I think I will buy a copy of each of these books and treasure them forever.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sometimes.....


Sometimes you just love the way it is
You love the way things are going
You just live in the moment….. living in the present
You don’t bother about what has passed…what the future has in store

Sometime you just love the way you are
You just enjoy being your crazy self
You don’t look for any changes
You don’t look for any acquaintance..just want to keep to urself

Sometimes you just don’t find the logic behind certain things
You don’t understand if you wanted them to happen or you didn’t
You wish you were equally immune to them as they are to you
Yet, you smile when you understand life cannot be questioned

Sometimes you feel like a loser
You feel lost for absolutely no reason
You just don’t find the strength to fight thru the odds…u question as to why me
Yet again you thank God for giving you so much already

Sometimes you just don’t want any changes
You want the things to continue as they are
You fall in love with the routine
You want to pause time or just be in that routine njoying it the way it is

Sometimes you just want to keep smiling without any reason
You just smile to urself …just like that..simply… for no reason
Yet sometimes, you just want to let the tears roll down without wiping them away
You just smile thru ur tears…wondering as to where did the tears come frm in the first place

Sometimes you just begin to hope with the begin of every new day
You wait for every sun rise…bringing in new hopes and dreams
You do not want the dusk to set in and bring the day to a close
Yet you njoy the silence of the night and do not want the dawn to break thru

….....

Going back to Teens…

A Sunday tht started off with me over-sleeping and missing my mock exam…as usual :).Afterall winters are meant for sleeping well…. aren’t they… and who on earth is so courageous to break out of that cosy slumber under the blanket and go to write a boring mock….yes, it really needs a whole lot of courage to do that believe me!!Buy anyways, what was special about this weekend was that for a change I got down to do some girly girly stuff…yeah, it somehow took me back to those 17-18 years old teenage students when we used to get down to such stupidity….well, the gist of what had happened follows.
After a long long time my best fren and me decided to go for an outing together…we went together for lunch and it took us just abt 5 min to decide on a restaurant…afterall it was not the food that we were interested in!!We stepped into a veg restaurant and were happy that there was lunch buffet there on a weekend…which saved us from shelling out a few extra bucks.We went around tasting every food item that we could lay our hands on….finally the waiter out of desperation got the finger bowls and the cheque giving us a sign that u might just be thrown out if u don’t leave. We didn’t miss that smile and nod of the waiter at the payment counter while leaving though. :D!!
Then we decided to do some window shopping just for some time pass…my fren had to buy a perfume to gift someone and we literally brought the whole store down trying out all those perfumes put up there….poor person at that perfumes counter had no other go but join us in our stupidity…he too after a while started having fun with the perfumes along with us.We had an awesome time trying out each and every perfume…reviving our sense of smell with those coffee beans and again loosing it :D!!Finally, with all that racquet that we were creating there a lady from the Revlon store came to us for helping us out with our perfume buying spree and then called us to her store for showing some stuff around….
And that was one of the biggest mistakes that she made…!!She showed us all the lotions and all the Revlon make-up stuff that she had with her and we went on with our interrogation as to which lotion wud come to what use…with genuine curiosity on our faces.Finally, when the lady offered to try out some experimentation on us with her make-up stuff we decided it was high time we make a move.But before we could draw-back ourseleves we were there sitting and getting free make-up done.Now we prepared ourseleves mentally for the inevitable….we told the lady with all the innocence that we could gather that we were sorry we really don’t intend going for all that stuff.Initially that lady was taken aback…then we told her “ma’am do we look from any angle that we spend time on all this stuff…” we gave her a detailed explanation of our schedule and tastes and succeeded in getting her into a hearty laugh.Finally she ended up giving us small pouches as gifts although we got away without buying anything from her outlet :)!!
The whole episode just reminded me of the fun we used to have with those cranky shopkeepers in our college campus.If anyone of us had been troubled by any of those shopkeepers there we would gang up and go the next day and see to that we irritate him to such an extent that he ends up apologizing to the person whom he had troubled the previous day.We even used to go for window shopping to these make-up stores for time pass and drive those shopkeepers crazy….It just took me back to that teenage girly stuff that we used to enjoy doing at college especially on the days when an exam used to go flop.It just proves that we can still go back to our good old days of being as childish as we wish to be and have fun….forgetting and keeping aside all the grown-up stuff of our worlds.It just feels awesome to do all those stupidities and crazy stuff going back 6-7 yrs…leading a carefree life….just not caring as to what the world thinks of u.I guess sometimes u just need to leave things where they are and just go back a few steps and enjoy the childishness in you….it just gives u an wonderful feeling at the end of it!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

A few Quotes....



“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet”

"The promise of the rainbow is found, not in the cloud free days, but in the storm"

“Being happy does not always mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.”

"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years"

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Absolute Bliss!!



 A light drizzle drenching you while taking a casual stroll back home
 A nice long mail from a good old friend in ur inbox
 A message on ur b’day frm ur teacher saying “U never call me, u never mail me but I ll still call u and still mail u bcoz its ur b’day today and u r very special to me”
 Returning back home after a foul day at work to find ur mom having cooked for u ur favourite dish
 Watching ur favourite movie or reading an interesting novel till late in the night
 Getting up on a morning and just feeling light and happy for no reason absolutely
 Giggling away childishly with frens and making the PMs and module leads pop up their heads from their cubicles
 Receiving a missed call or receiving an SMS from an old friend just when u r feeling down and out
 A hectic and an over-occupied day when u just regain sense at the end of the day while bidding a tired gudnite to ur pillow in the night
 Irritating ur sibling and putting up a fight with him for the weirdest of reasons
 A mail in ur inbox saying “Just be as stupid and as crazy as u are always” with a bunch of flowers
 Celebrating ur b’day at home relishing home-cooked food that ur mom prepares for u keeping ur taste in mind and ending the eve watching a comedy movie with ur family
 Taking all the pains to buy a secret gift for ur brother only to discover that he had already discovered it and u getting the kela in return
 Sipping coffee and just staring at the system with the ear-phones on…and just being lost in ur own world day-dreaming
 Studying for exams and ending up seeing stars the next day in the exam hall with the rest of the lot
 Sneaking to the living room with ur brother after ur parents have gone to sleep to watch Harry Potter till late in the night
 Bunking office just because u cudn’t get up in the morning
 A cozy warm sleep in a huge blanket on a cold winter night knowing that it’s a holiday next day and u don’t have to get up early for office next day
 lying on bed and listening to FM…playing ur favourite songs…till 4 AM in the morning
 A re-union of good old college-mates reviving all the good old memories
 Having a full bar of dairy milk after a bad day to just cheer urself up
 Playing ludo with ur family on a Sunday afternoon and fighting over who should win and who should lose
 Getting stuck in the traffic jam while returning home from office and sitting there simply observing the world around you
 Lighting a whole lot of diyas and lighting up the whole home celebrating Diwali
 Reaching temple just in time for the Aarti and hearing to the ringing of those bells echoing sounding and re-sounding in your mind
 Having pani puri with frens from the street vendor and lying abt it at home
 Acting as if u r engrossed in a complicated analysis but actually reading a novel at work place
 Listening to the same song over and over again on ur playlist till the song keeps ringing in ur head even when u take off the ear phones


And just sitting solitarily smiling quietly to urself for absolutely no reason at all remembering and enjoying these blissful moments…just as I am doing now:)!!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Crazy...but I like it that way :)!!

A day starting right at 8 ‘o clock in the morning in a hurried rush to sneak into office before ur supervisor gets in. After an hour long of hustle bustle on the busy road you reach office just to see ur supervisor walking right infront of you taking the lift (God!! who is that person who created lifts…din’t he have any supervisor at his work place…and why don’t supervisors consider taking stairs a healthy exercise in the morning!!) So, u barge into ur cubicle taking the stairs (two at a time…do I have a chance in marathon races!!) and make it just before u can see his head pop up near the door of the floor.You then open ur mailbox (the first thing to do every morning) hoping that some friend of urs might have regained his/her memory and might have mistakenly dropped a mail to u….afterall life is full of surprises…and who on Earth will not appreciate a sweet surprise popping its head in ur mailbox.You outlook shows that there are 12 mails to be downloaded and u r hoping against hope that atleast one is interesting out of them.You leave the outlook to take its own time in downloading the 12 mails and meanwhile decide to fill up ur water bottle and catch up with a cup of coffee (to enjoy it later with ur sweet little friend….the monitor of ur computer)…and isn’t that called effective utilization of time…why don’t managers take Knowledge transfer sessions on this from us I really wonder.You come back to ur place to only see that there were around 5 group announcements (Seriously HR needs to be given some work in life…they are really bored in lives I guess) and 7 official mails….comments on the document u submitted the previous day, new requirement analysis to be carried out, a presentation to be prepared and blah blah blah including a request for helping in some technical stuff in another project and there starts ur day (Wait did I say the day started at 8 in the morning!!).The next few hrs go in figuring out which task has to be given the first priority….unable to decide u start off with the first mail’s tasks.
A lot of running around…hunting for related documents…hunting for some help on Google (the life saviour!!)….feeling lost in those never ending PL/SQL procedures.Trying to reason out things (as well reason out from where on earth did ur mind learn to find reason out of ambiguity…above expectations really)…and get lost completely in documenting…fight over the comments given for ur analysis…tele conferences with onsite…never ending requirement discussions (and I used to think I wasn’t capable talking for a long time on phones).Discuss and fight with people of whom u know only the name and probably the voice.And your module lead coming over asking as to when can u deliver the documents…will it be possible by the end of the day (EOD and what’s that).A mail popping up in ur inbox ‘Look into this and revert ASAP’.You don’t realise when you have thrust down some food ….u don’t realise how many cups of coffee have accumulated at ur desk.U don’t realise for how long ur mobile has been ringing and has stopped cursing u for not paying even a pence worth attention to it.And finally after all work is done (that is when you decide that its been enough for the day) you look at the time and see its past nine in the night.U have 3 missed calls from home and u have 30 odd mails in ur inbox unchecked.U have no energy to check them now…u just leave them as it is and decide to get back home.Another one hr of entertaining urself with the songs playing on ur FM in ur mobile among the buzzing noise of the traffic and the blaring honks.And ur temporary loss of memory that u underwent comes back to u (Did I just curse my frens for being affected with memory loss!!)…oh it was my best fren’s b’day today!!Oops I had to stop by that shop and buy a jam bottle for mom…God!! I had to apply for reimbursement of my bills..wasn’t today the last date!!...and what abt the phone bill…100 rs extra for that now!!Oh no had to reply to my cousin’s mail……Groan why do I have such a short memory!!A few curses go there on urself then get back home …eat and sleep…not interested in sitting infront of another screen…TV..(yeah I know my fren u alone are my best friend…destined to be committed to u forever….u needn’t feel insecure….ll never replace u with anyone else. ..my monitor)…no patience to read any books…no patience to listen or talk to anyone at home.Open ur CAT material…solve a few sums and then give up…no strength!!And absolutely no time to think…no time to think what u r doing..what u need to do…no time to think of a break….no time to think of all that’s going on around u…of all that’s happening or future happenings…where ur life is going …..no time for urself.

That’s been my schedule for the past few days and I don’t know why but I like it…I like it that way.I like to be occupied to the brim…such that a little more will only spill out.I am not looking for a break…I am looking forward to be more and more occupied…such that at the end of the day I just have time to give my pillow a tired smile and bade it a sleepy farewell with another tired yawn.There was this dialogue in some movie which went like..”what personal life…my professional life is my personal life”…yeah my professional life has become my personal life and I am loving it that way !!Yeah, may be at times u just want to be over occupied in life as much as u can be and do not want time for urself ….I want it that way.Crazy am I not!!Well, I accept :)!

Friday, October 12, 2007

A Castle in the Air

She opened her eyes and found herself in an unknown land. She looked around with a bewildered look on her face…where was she…what place was this??How did she get here??She longed to go back to the comfort of her home…to the place that she belonged to.She was scared.She wanted to run away. She looked around her for help….and her glance just then fell on the surroundings…and she was struck….. spellbound.
Was it a land of fairies….yeah, it must be a land of fairies…There were colourful daisies all around.The fragrance of roses filled the air. A light shower was wetting her hair…falling down her shoulders. The greenery of the nature mesmerized her. The gurgling sound of the waterfall beside her added melody to the enchanting atmosphere. She felt like dancing….she felt like chirping away with the birds ….singing along with the humming bees. She wanted to remain lost and captivated there….she was enjoying her solitude…the bliss around her. She thought “How I wish all my loved ones were here…How I wish we had set up our home here…my brother and I could have wandered around the whole day enjoying the beauty of this land….life would have been an absolute bliss in this serene atmosphere. We could have enjoyed playing hide and seek in the fields yonder filled with gay sunflowers…why didn’t they come along…where were they??” She had heard her mother describe her of this land…her mother had promised that it would be a land of roses…her father had said that he wanted her to visit the land and experience the merriment that was in store for her there. They had assured her and soothed all her apprehensions….they had said that she just had to put forward her foot and she would be carried away lovingly to the arms of the surreal world that they were describing to her and she will be taken care of.So, this was the land that they were speaking of then….so surreal it had seemed then…and now it was there infront of her eyes real and filled with life. Why had she ever been so apprehensive to come here…how foolish she was….
She played in the rain like a child….she splashed away in the brook like a kid. She trampled along running after butterflies…she went back to her childhood. She just wandered around trying to take in all the beauty with her…capturing every single moment in her memory…She could suddenly sight a glimpse of a castle far away in the midst of the trees….conspicuously hidden in the back-ground. She sprinted towards the castle with her heart beating fast…she thought to herself…is this the place where I should stay…stay maybe forever. And there stood the castle …standing tall amongst the greenery that only glorified it all the more. But there was a strange thing that she noticed…the castle was not on the ground but was swaying in mid-air…..she was awestruck ….wow a castle in the air.How could that happen….it was surely a dream. Dusk had started to fall outside….tiny stars had started to glisten in the sky above. The walls of the castle glinted like diamond in the dim light….she could not wait to discover the interiors of the castle…she groped around with baited breath for an entrance to the castle and after a few minutes of impatient search she finally discovered the entrance.The entrance to the castle was a door carved in it ..which almost camouflaged with the walls of the castle….There were tiny diamond shaped stones studded along the rim of the door which alone differentiated it from the walls of the castle.She pushed the door open and stepped into the castle..... The floor of the castle was laid with velvet carpet and almost melted under her feet…the roof appeared as if it was ornamented with brightly lit chandeliers all over….Tall curtains adorned the walls…and artistic sculptors and intricately carved furniture filled the space….giving altogether a magnificent feeling.
She then looked at the roof of the castle completely enthralled by the beauty and unable to take her eyes off the surroundings ….and her heart almost skipped a beat.The roof of the castle seemed to be falling down with alarming speed right on her….for a second she stood there her feet rooted to the castle floor unable to believe what was happening…and then she realised the roof of the castle was falling….yes, it was falling right on her. She ran for her life…she groped for the door and just ran out as fast as her legs could carry her. It took sometime for her to realise that she was there standing out under the sky safely away from the castle….she turned a frightened glance towards the castle and saw that it was slowly perishing right infront of her eyes.The roof was falling taking along the walls with it….stone by stone the castle was coming down.Tears flowed down her cheeks…she cudn’t believe that all the beauty that she had experienced was going away right before her….she cried and screamed for help but in vain. The castle was going down and she had to witness it standing there…she could not save the castle…she could not do anything to stop it from falling into pieces. She looked around for help…half-hoping…half-expecting and to her surprise she saw that all the greenery and the nature that had captivated her was vanishing one after other. She didn’t know where to go…she was aghast…she quickly closed her eyes with her palms …she could not take it anymore…she could not see everything disappearing just like that….grabbed away from her in a jiffy.
After a long time she opened her eyes half scared of what she will witness infront of her…and found herself in her bed room. It was dark ….and she could feel the cold wind outside coming through the open window. She stared at the ceiling blank for a while and suddenly felt relieved to find herself in her home. Beads of sweat had piled up on her forehead. She got up and stood beside the window and felt the cool breeze against her face….the dream still fresh in her memory….was it a night-mare…or was it an enjoyable dream. She cudn’t decide…It took sometime for the events that she had gone through to sink in her head. She then remembered what her mother had said…the land that we are talking of is definitely beautiful…but don’t build castles in the air!!Yeah, so it was…’A castle in the air’….I had built ‘A castle in the air’…she smiled and thought to herself!!


Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Phew!!

Now just imagine this. Your day starts off with you realizing that you have overslept by half an hour and you really need to rush to office since you have a meeting right in the morning which had been announced the previous day. And the mail that had the announcement had been sent by your technical manager so this helps you imagine the sharpness of the dagger hanging over your neck even more clearly.You rush to office skipping ur breakfast and are stuck in a traffic jam ….the vehicles do not seem to budge an inch from their places for hrs together.You feel u are caught up in the world of tortoises for eternity with some blaring music playing in the background providing entertainment to the tortoises.Anyways, you finally manage to reach the fly-over near your office somehow and you decide to walk down to the office instead of being stuck in that stationary frame for another half an hour.
Just when you are thanking God for having made it to ur work place just in time for the meeting a local school bus passes by with school students happily waving at u from the bus’s window happily and blissfully enjoying their trip to school totally oblivious of the external world outside their homes and schools.And all of a sudden there is a splash and u see muddy water all over your dupatta sprinkled on it as if it was some holy water sprinkled on you blessing you to survive the dagger.You finally reach ur floor in that shabby condition cursing your fate and see that the meeting has already started.Without caring about the dress you just barge into the conference hall hoping against hope that there would be no Diwali celebrations for you in store there.As a blessing in disguise you are informed that ur tech manager has not yet joined the meeting and will be joining in another five minutes.
Just when you are heaving a sigh of relief and thanking your fate for showering so much kindness on you your technical manager arrives smiling and reports that there is a bad news…..the project is called off.You go back to ur place after the meeting totally lost…not understanding how come u didn’t feel the pain when the dagger fell over ur neck.Calling off the project wud mean all the efforts that had been put by u and ur team over the last one month had been watered down…..washed clean.And it wud also mean a calm after the storm (Yeah! I guess in corporate world the calm is usually felt after the storm not before)…that is u wud be sitting idle for a few days till the next assignment commences. And after having such a bad start of the day u decide to talk to ur fren hoping to derive some solace. But u discover that u have left ur cell at home in the hurry to get to office on time.Now u even fall short of curses for cursing ur fate.
The whole day goes off in you and ur team members predicting as to what could have been the reason for the closure of the project and brooding over it.At the end of the day as planned by u earlier u decide to go and shop for the Rakhi gift for ur brother keeping aside all ur worries.You enter the mall and notice that u have just half an hr on hand after which the mall will close down and in that half an hr time you need to hunt for a decent t-shirt.After rummaging around two floors of t-shirts which included a few oscillations between the first floor and the fourth floor of the mall u finally pick up a decent looking t-shirt when there are just about 5 min left for the shop to close down. Dog tired and famished u congratulate urself for having remembered to buy the gift and for having accomplished the task successfully after one whole week after Rakhi.You reach the billing counter and give the t-shirt for billing.Then you fish for ur debit card and a hundred odd things come out of ur purse except for the debit card. (I really sometimes think that my purse is also as magical as those dinner plates of Hogwart’s school which gets filled on its own from time to time).Anyways after a through search of ur purse you discover that you neither have the card nor money on u and suddenly the memory database of ur memory throws an alert message reminding u tht u had left ur card in ur mom’s purse the last time u had gone for shopping with her.
Getting out of the half-closed shutters of the mall aware of the smiles of those ten people standing behind you in the payment counter and having noticed the wide grin of the person at the counter u walk out of the mall.
Phew!! What a day….Lol :))!!

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I realize....

Recently, I happened to have a conversation with one of my frens…which was on these lines :

Fren : Hey, how was ur day??
Me : As usual …. Same boring stuff
Fren : ok! So what are u working on these days
Me : I am into a new project…just the initial phase so lots of documents to read
Fren : Oh ! So that must be boring!
Me : Yeah, its quite boring to read documents all day
Fren : Yeah, I know.So what do u do to get over the boredom??
Me : Nothing….can’t do much really!!Most of the sites are also blocked in our office.So can just have coffee and roam around a bit may be.
Fren : Oh that’s pretty bad then. How do u people survive without access to any of the sites.
Me : ha ha we are surviving right.
Fren : I wudn’t have allowed that to happen to me.
Me : I didn’t get you…sorry
Fren : I said I wudn’t have let that happen to me
Me : What wud u do??
Fren : Quit and join somewhere else.
Me : hmmmm ok

Now this conversation left me thinking for a while. I felt like saying ‘No, don’t say that. It is a gud place to work in’.Why did I feel bad. This was not the first time I was hearing such kind of statements. Many of my colleagues keep complaining. Our coffee discussions usually revolve around our hectic schedule or complaining tht no project is assigned,our project managers,other companies having better facilities,who all have shifted where and what not. Its very rare that we discuss abt the facilities within the company, how are we different from others and what we are actually gaining being here.And the most interesting thing is I have seen people shift and again start cribbing in a few days.There have been cases of people shifting and wanting to come back also to the same place.But even after having the knowledge of all this we hardly ever appreciate what we have….atleast we hardly ever project that we do gain something from the company. There are umpteen number of blogs discussing the dissatisfaction they have at their work place.I too have cribbed in a few posts of mine.
But for once when I heard that statement I felt guilty that I cribbed. When I have cribbed and said that I was bored I must be looking for something more isn’t it?Let me consider what all I have first to decide on what more I need. Starting from basic things…my salary is good enough for a decent survival if not a lavish one. The work environment at my work place is quite good. There is no concept of hierarchy here and whether u r a fresher or an experienced person you do have a say here. There is hardly any bossism at the work place unless required. You have good frens among ur batchmates and colleagues. You can also consider the opportunity of working on the client’s side and visiting a few places…enriching ur experience and ur bank account for those who are keen. Regarding nature of work….yes, it definitely is interesting on few days and its not at other times.And above all, I get to stay with my parents even.So, what is that which I need to consider then for making a shift.Don’t I have enough things already to be happy with!What else does anyone look for in a job. Is not having 24/7 internet facility reason enough to consider a shift or is any other such reason valid?Frens even keep asking…two years and in the same place.Why aren’t u considering a shift?.......
Will shifting mean an end to all complaints??Will we not have reasons for complaining always? Is there any end to it? Say we have all the facilities and everything we complain for not having time for leisure. And if we do not have a hectic schedule we complain for not having our frens or our family around. It will be a very rare occurrence to have everything u want and be well satisfied.
For once I saw the positives that I was gaining from and I realized I might be aspiring to progress but that doesn’t mean I am not happy with what I already have. I have realized I love my job and my work place not just for the benefits it gives me but I like it as a whole with all its benefits and loopholes. And even if I complain or crib I am not actually complaining abt the workplace but the complaints are actually abt myself is what I have understood. If I ever shift it wouldn't be because of boredom or dissatisfaction or because of any flaws in my organization. And we all need to realize that unless we appreciate and value what we already possess satisfaction and happiness will always remain elusive. And no amount of shifting is ever going to bring them to us.The yearn for more will always be a luring entity for which the organization is no way responsible....the root of the problem lies within us not in any of the organizations.

To all the Girls!!




I don’t know if I will sound like an upcoming female activist in this post of mine. But I thot the picture was worth sharing. And I don’t think I need to add anything more to this post of mine. The picture says it all. All that I ll say is :

“It might be difficult to be a girl and thousand times more difficult to be a woman but whatever it is I am really proud I belong to it”

……and this is for all those who appreciate belonging to this special category:)!!


What's so poignant about this picture?
Well, it shows a line of little girls holding hands facing the immensity of ocean waves. Alone they might be washed away, but together they stand strong.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

July 11th……the ‘D’ day!!

Last few months have been pretty taxing and my mind has been reeling with a lot of things.Looks like life has chosen to be a little heavy on me for some time….and as the days were just by-passing me …then came July 11th,2007. It was exactly at 12 ‘o clock yesterday that I coincidentally , hunted for my wrist watch lying below a pile of books scattered all around on my bed and wondered what day is it…..What’s the date….did I by any chance exceed the last date of my hutch bill payment.And then it struck me July 11th….something was special abt this day…what was it??!!
After focussing for sometime on the date then it dawned upon me oh yeah it was the day I had joined my very first job…..the day I first set my foot into corporate world….in other words got the feeling of belonging to the class of professionals. I smiled at myself and said congratulations….two yrs into profession completed successfullyJ!!I knew I wasn’t all that greatly satisfied with my job and I had higher aspirations……and I also was aware that life isn’t going all that smooth for me and smiling meant that I really needed a strong reason to do so….but I was still smiling surprisingly. Did July 11 really hold so much significance to me?!

I then got reminded of college….of BITS…I realised it’s been long since I have actually missed being there….when did I stop missing college…ah I didn’t even realise!! One yr back we had all celebrated July 11th with lot of vigour and energy….I remembered the way we had celebrated this day and wondered God alone knows how many of my training batchmates are still working in the same organization. And how many of them are even going to remember that today was our joining day!!

When I got to office in the morning and opened my mail box….it was empty!!And I told myself “ha ha so no one remembers”.I thought …should I mail everyone…people might not appreciate forget it!!where is the time for anyone to shower sentiments now….then got down to work.After sometime mails started pouring in ….Some on a cheerful note and some with a hint of sarcasm..But nevertheless, mails did pour in. The best part was we could contact almost the whole batch of training batchmates who had joined on July 11th including those who had shifted to other organizations. A few memories of our training days were revived which brought back a few happy memories. And as each one started writing about the fun-filled incidents that had happened during the training…mails started flooding the inbox.Quite a few legs were pulled and the entire batch livened up.

I smiled and thot……..A lot of things had changed over the past two years. Lot of lessons learnt. A few moments of accomplishment have passed and a few moments of distress have been there. Almost all of us have now learnt to deal with the ups and downs of professional life I guess. A few expectations have been met and a lot of aspirations lay unfolded. We have learnt tht the rosy life of college has gone and reserved its place in the city of nostalgia and is not going to come back and we need to find happiness now in the routine monotony of profession. Some have chosen to resign to the monotony and some have chosen to keep fighting and have been finding ways to get out of it. And each one seems to be satisfied with one fact tht they are dissatisfied. And the best thing is no one knows what is that that can satisfy them.I still remember the day I had first stepped into my account….we saw everyone around us with grave bored faces sitting infront of their systems …..lost in their own sweet world ……life and enthusiasm seemed to be dead and gone from their faces. I still remember the confusion on each our faces….we all had the same question in mind “why don’t these people smile!!” . I guess now we might be portraying the same image to the new comers joining the account. Two yrs of profession definitely teaches one and all two things… to adapt to the monotony and to be satisfied with the dissatisfaction. But whatever it is …..satisfied or not…..July 11th is a date which will always remain special for all of us with all the fond memories of training attached to it….is what I could drive home today. It marks the beginning of our professional career and carries the mark of the day we got our very first designation as an employee. Our experience will always be counted with respect to this very date. With all the significance that it carries for each one of us July 11th is not going to be just another memorable day but the most memorable day for our entire training batch and it will always be remembered with a smile!! The journey into professionalism started from here will thus continue further but July 11th will always remain the D day :)!!!!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Puuo!!

About twenty yrs back from today a three yrs old kid was sitting along with her grandfather in his lap in an arm chair in the porch of the verandah….JJ (Grandfather in Oriya) chair that is what we used to refer that chair as.It was his favourite chair.

Kid : JJ what does puuo mean??
JJ : It means son
Kid : Why do u call Appa as puuo??Is he ur son??
JJ : Yes, he is my puuo
Kid : Who is my puuo??
JJ : Ha ha, who do u want ur puuo to be??
Kid : Can I choose my Puuo JJ??
JJ : Yes, u can…so whom do u choose then as ur puuo??
Kid : U….u be my puuo from today JJ…will u be??
JJ : Ha ha sure my dear…but then who ll be ur JJ if I be ur puuo!!
Kid : (After some serious thot) we will shorten JJma’s name as JJ….if I need a JJ
JJ : Ha ha ha ok

And so he became my puuo from being my JJ :).He used to feed me when I used to throw tantrums and find excuses for not eating making my mother give up on me in frustration.He wud bribe me with chocolates and toys and make me drink milk and then take all the credit for accomplishing the great task.My puuo and I wud together have bitter gourd curry together…..I eating on his behalf and he on my behalf….. and the bitterness of the curry would get drowned in our laughter and togetherness. He taught me alphabets before joining school.He taught me the difference between multiplication and divison…when I could never differentiate between them.He taught me multiplication tables till 12th table and I could never learn higher than 12th table till date.And today he’s taught me cooking even :)!I wud coax him to tell me the story of his childhood and he wud willingly accept to narrate the incidents of his childhood to me umpteen number of times without getting tired of it.He wud listen to my endless ranting and answer each and every single question that I ask.He wud blackmail me saying that if I had my bath early in the morning he wud allow me to enter the puja room and have Prasad and I wud always manage to sneak in and have the Prasad without bath.And he wud behave as if he could never make out tht I had sneaked in and finished the Prasad.I wud ask him “what do u do with the Prasad when I am not around Puuo”…and he wud reply “feed it to the sparrows so that they take it to u in their beaks”!!And I wud keep searching for sparrows at my place for the Prasad.He wud say “Grow up soon dear I am getting old”…and I wud reply “Don’t worry Puuo I ll grow up soon and we will both get old together”.Days passed and distances grew.I got tied up with studies and cud manage to meet him only once in a yr.He wud complain “U call me puuo and don’t care for ur puuo.U simply disappear”….I wud reply “No JJ!!Me really tied up.I need to secure a seat JJ.After that I promise I ll always be with u”…..he replied “Fine!!I will get it for u…will u be happy then and not worry”….It sounded like those days in my childhood when I used to cry for toys and he wud say “Fine now don’t cry I will get u toys from my secret trunk…ll u be happy then”……and I wud forget all abt the toys and secretly sit down to ransack the secret trunk when my grandfather was not around. My puuo couldn’t see me worried ever.Whenever I wud get worried abt my results my puuo wud motivate me by narrating his experience and the way he had pursued his dreams by making it to Stanford University and completed his Phd .He had taught me pursuing ur dreams is all that matters ….don’t worry abt the results…just never give up. Tears filled his eyes when I had gifted him a dhoti and kurta with my first salary.He put away the dhoti and kurta in his secret trunk as usual :)!!
I wud say “Puuo come and stay with me.Then we can have lot of fun” and his reply wud always be “No my dear just like that is ur house this is my house…ur Puuo is happy in his house…Next I ll go to God’s house from here”….And I wud retort “JJ!!Don’t talk nonsense.You had promised that we ll get old together”….”Yes my dear I remember my promise. We will get old together.U and I togther.That is why I made the prev. statement”.I never understood then what he meant.

But today I understand the true meaning of his statement that he had made then.He had meant he wud always be there with me in my memories and we wud together get old.Isn’t that what u meant Puuo?? :)! Life is so strange really….we are forced to accept the rules of nature.Much as we wud love to hold on to our dear ones we know that if we do so it will only get worse.Although its painful to depart from your loved ones u will have to console urself telling that its better if they are taken care of by God in his house than they withering away infront of ur eyes.U can’t pause time…u can’t stop age.And its also strange that when ur loved ones depart its only then that all the memories of the days that u spent together surfaces and u try clinging on to them like u never did before.U get so tied up with other responsibilities in ur life that although u know u love them dearly and they are there waiting impatiently to just catch a glimpse of u ….u just don’t have the time to be with them…and the memories just lie at the back of ur mind undisturbed….u don’t have the time to re-live them.So, that is what he had meant then that he can always stay in my memories and I will realise and relive the long lost childhood days with him all over again while he watches me do so from God’s abode…..and that’s how he will watch me getting old , sitting in the JJ chair , along with him :) !Hope you are keeping a secret trunk there too in God’s house Puuo.And I am sure this time God will make sure that ur secret trunk is not ransacked by any naughty kid around. And here I will take care of your favourite chair :)!

One Min Plz!!

There are these times when you feel like requesting life “Please, give me just a min off and I will get back to you”. But your request goes in vain. Life stubbornly sticks on to its routine. The storm that is boiling inside you gets on to you and you plead and cry and life turns a deaf ear to your pleadings. And you realise that you are not going to be empathized with. Life is not going to sit down and empathize with you and let the storm pass. You got to get down to your feet and stand up with life. It is in no way going to give you time to pause or give you time to sit down and take a breath. Life doesn’t have place to accommodate your anguish. You finally give up and put one foot forward hesitatingly into life and the moment you do that life drags you and engulfs you like the tides of the sea and you sail along its waves. Rising up and down. The showers of Life rain on you and your anguish is washed away. Time, a friend of Life, provides the healing balm and the pain and anguish stop hurting without your knowledge…..as you were busy trying to learn manoeuvring through the waves. Eventually you learn and you start enjoying and experiencing every crest and trough of the waves and then you pause and ask yourself “Did I ask for some time off from life…and when was that :)!!!”
That is why it is rightly said ‘Life is Beautiful’ :)! Isn’t it!!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Amnesia

Amnesia – forgetfulness.Coming to me I guess when God was fitting people’s brains with those memory cards holding GBs of data I was probably the last one in the queue and when my chance came God was left only with a memory card which could hold data in bits.Never mind that…I do accept with grace that my brain has not been fit with a real spacious memory card….but when it comes to the short falls and the embarrassments I need to face bcos of that I really wish there was some mechanism to upgrade the memory cards in our heads…as unfortunately the idea of bashing up the fellow standing infront of me in the queue and snatching away the GB wala memory card didn’t occur to me then.There had been umpteen instances of me goofing up bcos of my forgetfulness starting with forgetting to wear the right coloured uniform on the right days of the week and ending up picking up scraps of paper from the school playground as punishment,forgetting the dates of the tests and studying for the wrong subject and achieving the unachievable zilch proudly (I still store those papers as testimonials!),not remembering people’s names till I make a conscious effort of memorizing their names and raking my brain each time I meet them…(I still get confused as to who was the director of my college and wait who is the CEO of my company??!!).I hope I don’t end up in another office some day claiming it to be my workplace.
My last goof up was when I was playing some prank on my fren by trying to give her names of characters in Mahabharat and ended up relating Gandhari with Menaka concluding both of them to be apsaras.That only helped in me acquiring an alias to my name as Menaka-Gandhari and being referred as that in every mail and meet from then on.Probably I even made Gandhari turn in her grave.But it doesn’t matter if u don’t remember dates,color of uniform,name of the CEO of ur company or names of the apsaras and queens but u do get into real embarrassing state if u don’t remember ur colleagues or batchmates names.There had been innumerable times when I had met someone from my college or workplace coincidentally in a shopping mall or in a restaurant and got away without much damage inspite of me not being able to recollect if I had ever met this person in the first place while conversing with them.
But the worst incident was when I met one of my colleagues in an exam center and mistook him as my father’s fren’s son .Our conversation took place somewhat on these lines :
Colleague (C ) : Hi!!U here
Me : Hi (Totally clueless as to who he was??!!)
C : So, how was ur exam
Me : yeah ok…what abt u?? (By then the bulb in my head finally decided to bless me and glew and I concluded him to be my father’s fren’s son)
C : Not good.How was ur last paper
Me : Last one was better I guess…what abt u??
C : Same here.So howz work??
Me : ya good…Howz urs??
C : very boring…U r frm which college??
Me : ????? (How come he doesn’t know) XXXX
C : U r 2005 pass out??When did u join??
Me : yeah, 2005…joined ZZZZ in 2005 (Now this is real attitude….!!What nautankibaaz)
C : What?????Why are u telling me the company name??!!
Me : Bcos u asked me!!!! (????)
C: Wait! Aren’t u able to recognise me??!!
Me : (??????) Ofcourse, aren’t u YYYY
C : Huh!! I can’t believe this….I am ur colleague…remember ur company ZZZZ,So n so Project ,So n so Account ….me who sits in so and so cubicle!!
Me : Uh!!I am really sorry…I thot u were someone else!!I guess it’s the effect of exam…C u tomm!!Wud u mind if I leave?? (totally perplexed at my own stupidity)

And after this incident I have accepted that probably the memory card in bits has also stopped functioning and I really need to do something.I am scared of that fateful day when my Supervisor comes to me and I refuse to recognise him or mistake him as someone else!!

Foot Prints

As I traverse down the memory lane I stumble upon a thousand odd memories.All stacked and stored secure within the walls of my memory lane.Each memory unfolds a series of images….images that seem so real, life-like when I decide to unfold them and which otherwise stays as a still picture, if left undisturbed.Memories of childhood,memories of my first days at school,memory of the time when I fell down off the stairs and the pain of tht single fall imprinted itself in my memory,memories of the hundred odd people that I met all along,a few that remained, a few that were swept away along with the tide of time, a few that choose to be swept away , memories of people and things in my possession whose value I realised only after they left,memories of promises,trust,frenship and betrayals…,memories of success that made me feel I was on the top of the world,memories of failure which made me feel my world had come to an end,memories of lessons that were learnt in a hard way,memories which I look back upon and smile telling myself good that it happened that way otherwise I wud have missed upon a lot of other things,memories of the loss that I underwent because of my foolishness,memories of incidents when I received help from the most unexpected quarters, memories I look back on and think how did I ever manage to pass through that,memories of people and incidents that made me laugh my head off….which invariably bring a smile whenever thot of,memories of times when I was jealous of other’s possession and the same things seem so insignificant to me right now,memories of frens who lived through thick and thin with me and who still do,memories of people whom I respected and admired the most ,memories that I look at and think did that have to happen with me, cherished memories of triumph and memories that still pain and a whole lot of other memories….so many in number that its actually impossible to pen them down.And each of these memories are indispensable.Each has left a footprint somewhere.Each moment is precious enough to be lived and re-lived again.The memories that sub-consciously always keep reminding me of the various moments.And as I sail along with life I look forward to experience new things which will add to my memories and add to the treasure of footprints that are there so that one fine day when I look back I have a imprinted book filled with footprints of treasured memories and its not a blank page.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Rats Race

Its one of those times when you can see the shreds of ur dream all around you making you realise that you have failed…..added another stepping stone on ur path to successfully attain ur dream.The dream which had started off with the promise to give up all that comes across ur path and causes a hindrance to achieve it.But it all shattered with a two and a half hours of exam on one fateful day.Although I do realise that it has been a miserable failure but I haven’t failed to realise that all along I have gained a lot also.It has not been just another failure over which I just have to brood over and curse my fate.Its been a learning process and although I haven’t achieved anything in quantitative terms I have achieved a lot in qualitative terms.
I really can’t help admiring the lot of people tht I had met.It just overwhelms you when u see the determination and perseverance in a few people.It makes you feel determined.It makes you pursue ur dreams all the more harder.Many people say it’s a rat race and we are rats at the end of it.But its not just a rat race.The very fact that you are a part of the race …the very process brings out so many things.The momentary success in a mock CAT followed by a disastrous failure in the one following it.The moments of triumph of having scored well in a particular section and the moments of distress when your score is negative in a section.Raking ur brains searching the so called engineer in u who is supposed to master quant and is not able to solve a simple profit and loss problem.Getting absorbed in a very interesting passage while doing the RC section in a Mock CAT and loosing track of time.Matching the red hats with toms ,dicks and harries so much so that u see only colourful houses and hats in dreams while sleeping.The serious brain storming sessions that are held as to how to bell the CAT which end up in discussions on movies.The rage over the OBC quota put forward…the endless protests, display of anger and peace marches held.Dreaming that u had been just through one section and time was up…and getting up with a start.Dreaming of success.Dreaming of failure.The fun in group discussions.The fear in mock interviews.Brooding with fellow mates over ur mundane jobs.Consoling each other and inspiring one another to keep going.The wait for when it wud be time for ur evening class and when u wud get a break from ur office work.Marvelling at the intricacies of English language in the VA classes.Feeling lost like a drop of water in an ocean in general awareness classes.And never to forget the endless wait for the results…..speculations…calls….hopes….dispair…triumph!!!!
The whole process has been a great learning experience.It changes ur perception on viewing things from a broader platform.Teaches u to welcome success and failure with the same spirit and to keep a balance over urself.It brings out the manager in u in the truest sense.I guess for that matter preparing for any exam is a huge learning process which teaches you much more than u realise.And above all the People whom you meet who bring out the strengths and weaknesses in you.People whose self confidence makes you also believe only in the best.To learn to believe just in achieving the moon and not compromise on ur dreams.To keep going with the same determination and strength even after failure after failure.And at the end of the day to realise that u had the courage to be a part of the so called rat race and have picked up a lot from the race rather than not taking part in the race at all and missing out on the learning. The mantra wud be atleast I tried and its been a enjoyable and memorable experience.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Adieu-Keep in Touch

Yesterday I had to work till late in the office and by the time I reached home it was 9:30 PM.I happened to have a brawl with my Onsite Co-ordinator and I was lost in cursing him with the choicest of abuses till I reached home.I put my bag down and sat down on the bed heaving a HUGE sigh of relief when my cell started ringing. Instant thot that passed was “Is it from Office….Noooooooooo don’t tell me”.Seeing that it was from an unkown no….it took sometime for me contemplating if I should be receiving it or not.Even if its not from office I am in no mood of speaking to anyone right now….and the cell stopped ringing…..”Thank God!!”.I went and gulped down a glass of water, had dinner and decided to sleep early…having had enough for the day!!Just then the cell started ringing again…”Now who’s it at 10 in the night”!!
Finally received the call….
Me : Hello
Speaker : Hi yaar
Me : Er….Hi??!!
Speaker : Remember me??
Me : aa…no sorry I can’t recollect…may I know who’s this?
Speaker : Arey main yaar XXXX!
Me : Oh hi yaar….kaise ho…after a long long time !!
Speaker : Haan yaar bas thik…tum batao
Me : yeah, me too fine…aur howz ur job and all
Speaker : Bas chal rahi hai yaar…busy at times what abt u??
Me : same yaar…routine life aur kya
Speaker : haan mera bhi…aur batao
Me : main kya bataun yaar…tum hi batao
Speaker : hmmm main kya bataun…filhaal I am in Hyd yaar
Me: Oh wow!!Thats great…kab aaye
Speaker : Just abt a week back
Me : Oh great yaar…pehle kyun nahi bataya…we cud meet up sometime
Speaker : haan yaar was a bit busy…
Me: ok…no problem we will meet up soon
Speaker : yeah sure…
(An uncomfortable pause for abt 1 min)
Speaker: acha yaar so this is my no. note it down and do keep in touch
Me : haan yaar sure…u too keep in touch


“Keep in touch” this I remember was the phrase we had said to each other when we had parted about a year back.We had been in college together ….we were a close knit group of frens…!!We had shared a hundred things and had days of fun and frolic together….we had laughed and cried together watching movies in the college auditorium,we had put night-outs together working for tech fest,we had crept together into the girls hostel after long past the closing time and had jubilantly congratulated each other for breaking the hostel rules successfully,we had studied for courses together and flunked them together,we had supported each other while giving presentation lectures in order to make a few marks,we had worked on each other’s assignment and ended up muddling it all the more till we had to copy it from the net,we had gossiped on every other group present in the college,we had given b’day bumps to others to our heart’s content only to receive double the amount back on ur own b’day,we had bunked classes together and also helped the other to go to sleep behind one's back in class,we had drafted each others write ups and made sure to see that the person runs out of shy on his/her farewell,we had filled in each others slam books till there was no space left in it…..we had shared four years together…the memories of which will stay for lifetime. We had parted with heavy hearts and promises to always be in touch.There had been lot many such frens…who had been really close…in school,college,work place.Some never attempted to keep in touch….some whom u expected will keep contact didn’t live upto ur expectations and some of them u couldn’t sustain keeping contact with not living upto their expectations…and finally the number reduced to just one or two who were in regular touch …who might also be swallowed in the wave of time!!

It sure does feel great to receive a call from one of ur college frens who had been so close…..but we happened to have nothing to tell each other except for a few formal words….the closeness seemed to have vanished over time ….All those promises of keeping in touch which had been made seemed to falsify somehow….!!”Keep in Touch” a phrase so lightly used by us….. how much essence does it have practically. How much do we abide by the promise that we make….all that remains between frens is a few fwded mails, a few wishes on festivals and b’days and calls when some help is needed……almost narrowing down to a state when we are just a step ahead of being complete strangers to each other.Distances and time seem to have engulfed the relationships and priorities seem to have shifted in life…..Your horizons have broadened . The phrase “Keep in Touch” also has broadened with broadened horizons….and has reduced to just another formality.Frens have been replaced with colleagues or a new set of frens (who will also eventually be replaced with time and distance) and mails have been replaced with career goals and have been prioritised over.Looking back , a handful unknown people that u had come across over the years….who grew from being strangers to acquaintances and acquaintances to frens…..the innumerable promises made,the innocence shared and the immense importance given to each other….all seem faded over time. All that remains are lingering memories of long lost frens….. a few words far and between…..which lack to fill up the space and vacuum that has been created by the negligence that has crept in with time.Life has moved on and u have learnt to move along with life….learning in a smooth or hard way to hold on to just the memories and experiences which are not perishable ….as u move along taking in home the learning that the charm and vigour of evrything perishes and transforms over time .Now when someone says “Keep in touch” I mentally translate the phrase to myself and reply with a smile “Sure yaar,u too keep in touch”!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

A Smile Makes ur Day!!

Its just another routine day….getting up at 8 with the alarm having been set and re-set umpteen no of times since 7 for an interval of 10 -10 min till the alarm clock itself is tired of ringing and literally yells in ur ear “Get up now or I will bash u up!!”….”U grumble and growl abt it being another working day….”…rush to office…cook up an excuse for being late and pat urself for coming up with such brilliant and innovative excuses each time….(keeping up the company’s spirit of innovation)!!And then the day drags on….it either ends right at 6 on days when u r absolutely free and have been sitting and staring the whole day at the monitor…reading each and every mail that pops up in ur mail box even if it’s a group announcement or put up an earnest act of reading some very important project related documents whereas the reality is either u r lost in the songs of Lucky Ali playing on ur Winamp or are deep into an e-book……sometimes I seriously wonder…had Winamp been barred at the work place I wud seriously have to consider shifting to another job.And there are days when u just happen to look at the bottom right corner of ur system and see the time to be 10:00 and wonder if its AM or PM and it takes full 5 min for ur brain to register that its 10:00 PM and then u wonder if there will be any coffee in the coffee machine realising that its long past lunch now and ur stomach is growling!!
The day ends and u manoeuvre ur way through the traffic back home and ur ears keep ringing with the blaring noise of the vehicles on the road till half an hr after reaching home.Switch on t.v….browse through channels for half an hr…curse the channels for screening nothing of ur interest and for repeating the same old things…at times if u r too tired to browse channels you satisfy urself watching the same old movie “Mera Dil Tera Sanam…etc etc” for the hundredth time and really appreciate the channel for actually researching so hard to zero down on a movie like that and screen it repeatedly (as viewer’s choice)which wud have stayed unheard of otherwise!!And then when the clock strikes 12 u slowly feel overpowered by sleep…sometimes it even happens that u luckily find something interesting to watch on t.v and want to watch the whole program but the muscles in ur body blatantly refuse to keep up to ur expectations !! And thus ends the day with u being in the dreamland watching urself free out of this routine mundane life…throwing the resignation at ur boss’s face and getting back at him for the torture that he bestowed upon u.
A mundane life that almost all of us lead.Most of us have the same routine…its as if we have become like a tuned alarm clock running as per the settings ….without any escape whatsoever.But as I sit and sip coffee at my desk looking at my colleagues sitting around me and ponder over where my routine life is heading to I realise that everyone around me has the same kind of routine and thots like me.But when you have a look at them closely u see that some people have adapted themselves very well to the routine.There are people who always have an enthusiasm in them…smiling broadly while moving around on the floor…smiling at every person (known/unknown) they come across,taking time off their work and spending time going to others desks and making them laugh as well along with them, taking up any kind of work with equal amount of enthusiasm even if it is as boring as correcting grammar in some documents that are to be delivered,making a lot of frens around,dropping nice cheerful mails now and then ….these are the people who are noticeable in the floor which otherwise consists of hundred odd people…..The people who bring in life to the floor …the only ones whose absence is noticed when they are on leave.And u will see that u invariably end up having a secret admiration for such kind of people.And there are another set of people who are unnoticeable, lost in the floor as much as they are lost in their computers and lives.They are the ones who have a gloomy face all the time, smile evades them as if its another precious thing which they wudn’t like to part with or spend on any tom dick and harry, always grumbling abt their work,cursing their routine lives …they are the ones whom u look at and realise how mundane ur life is!!There is one thing that I realised after getting into profession is that being gloomy or staying happy is upto one’s state of mind.The more you grumble abt things not being the way u like the more life grumbles at u and life eludes u!!Its totally ur call to either find happiness out of the routine or follow a routined gloominess.You are frustrated as long as u decide to be…the moment u decide that no I will laugh away at everything and drown my frustration in my laughter there will be no frustration.Starting the day by telling urself that today is the best day for me helps.U stop realising the monotony… u infact start enjoying it!!
The way u can live life to the fullest is something that is a never ending lesson which unfolds new lessons for u at every step and the lessons end only with life.A lesson in which to progress through all its chapters u need a whole lot of enthusiasm and the right spirit…sticking on to gloominess and grumbling or for that matter sticking on to anything will stagnate u in the first chapter and will not help u progress.Now when I am talking of all this I might as well mention of a person’s blog that I had come across…..although I don’t happen to know the person personally and had got the link to his blog from one of my close frens…I really admire the way he perceives life.Some of the articles of his that I read had been so humorous that me and a few of my frens had laughed so hard that tears came rolling down our eyes and our supervisors suspiciously asked us the reason for our ecstasy..thinking that we were planning to play some prank on them.At times I have been really frustrated with my work and his humorous articles had proved to be a heavenly break.Hats off to his humour and satire !!And today in the morning my fren mailed me asking me to read his latest post which talked abt his engagement breaking up.When I heard of it first I was really taken aback and almost dumbstruck.But when I read his post I was amazed at the way he’s handled it…and the way he’s put it across with his usual humorous touch.I empathized with him and decided to drown the sad news in a cup of coffee.But I was in for a bigger surprise when I saw all my frens who had been reading his posts empathising with him and actually praying for him.
Now coming to think of it….this is a fast moving world and everyone is trying hard each day to keep pace with it.Who has the time in the world to empathise with some unknown person and pray for him.In such a fast moving world where people don’t find time to pray for themselves if we are actually pausing and taking out time even for a sec to pray for someone then I guess these are the true blessings that anybody should count on.The people who know how to bring a smile on other’s faces and make the day for others by their humour inspite of the problems that they face….the people from whom u can learn how to imbibe enthusiasm in ur monotonous life are those whom u will always admire and pray for and learn from.May God create more such people for ages to come and may God keep them as bright and smiling as ever.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Holi

The clock struck 11 and I was in a deep slumber lost in dreamland when there was a sudden thud….someone was pounding at the door.”Its 11 in the morning…do u have any intention of waking up”….God!!I don’t understand why parents have to get up so early.Do they know how much they are missing by getting up so early in the morning…afterall isn’t it in the morning that u get the best of sleep possible!!Anyways, I looked at the watch…mumbled half asleep….ok baba getting up and got out of the bed!!Checked for the time and it showed 10:45…”Oh Papa its not yet 11….and I got back late from office yesterday…”…anyways!!

The day was as normal as any other weekend and late in the afternoon there was a msg on my cell…”Hi Hutch!!On thi Holi discover new colourful ringtones and caller tunes on ur mobile ….”…..How can ringtones be colourful….nevermind but yeah isn’t it Holi today!!Let me go and look out as to how people are celebrating Holi!!Looked out of the window…and there wasn’t a soul visible…switched on the tv and watched the news for a while where people celebrating Holi in different states was being shown….got bored after sometime and decided to call up a few frens.None of them seemed to be celebrating…and half of them didn’t even know it was Holi today.However all of them seemed to remember how we used to celebrate the festival when we were in hostel in our college….”yaar yaad hai how we broke rotten eggs on ur head and how u went stinking for a whole week after that”…”and haan kaise we had emptied the whole bucket of colors in ur room yaad hai…u took two whole days to get over that mess”

True!!We used to have such a blast on Holi in college……that was the first time ever I celebrated Holi…. making it all the more special for me.That was the day when there were no distinctions made between profs and students.All of us used to get together in the lawns and play with colors to our heart’s content.There were no restrictions on our wear and no etiquettes whatsoever…..all of us tried to be as uncivilized and barbaric as we could shouting and yelling our lungs out!!Pulling everyone out of their hostels , messing up rooms….cleanliness seemed to be alienated for that day!!Catching hold of the people who looked less messier than the others and trying our best to be the messiest of the lot.I still remember that day when it was declared that playing holi was over for the day and everyone left to take bath….just to fool me…and after 2 and a half hrs of tidying up I was bathed with a bucket of colors when I got out!! Holi and Diwali had always been the two festivals which were the most enjoyable ones since childhood!!Probably these are the only two festivals which actually bring out the child in everyone….!!Only festivals when people of all age groups are seen celebrating in the same way…the only days when kids get official permission to play pranks on elders.

But now we are back again to square one.No Holi….No diwali…most of us don’t even notice when the festivals go by.And the reason we give is…”Got to go office the next day yaar…let me take rest for today”….”Arey office mein bahut kaam hai yaar…no time absolutely”!!If we are giving excuses of work load to ourselves for not enjoying these small things in life isn’t this a valid enough excuse for not living life at all.Workload seems to be the excuse for anything and everything around.Not celebrating festivals,not being able to attend frens/realtives functions,not being able to keep in touch with frens,not being able to get back home for a long time,not remembering to wish on ur siblings b’day,not having the time to pursue our hobbies and interests,no time to get up early and enjoy the morning walk,no time to meet ur school fren who’s on a visit to ur place,no time to wish anyone on festivals,no time to even smile at ur colleagues sitting in the same floor as u ….and the list goes on.In short workload seems to be an excuse for not living life as it is meant to be….an excuse that u r giving urself for letting life by pass you.We all seem to be in a race…..not realising that we have left all those little things that we used to enjoy in life far behind.For all those things that we miss could our workload serve as an excuse…..aren’t we just missing out on just a little more than that!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

My Trip To Nagpur

My Father and I started off on our journey to Nagpur at 9 in the morning. Me having an interview the next day and considering that literally my life depended on the interview I was just physically present on Earth. We went and checked for our names and berth nos on the list outside and we got to know that my ticket is still not confirmed. Finally after having manoeuvred to our berths we sat down there although I had these doubts lingering in my mind if we will be asked for the confirmation. There were abt three to four people in the compartment and a kid of abt 2 yrs age. I sat down to a corner and started off with the pile of magazines that I had carried with me from home to devour on during the journey. Somehow whether I read the books/magazines or not carrying study material with me when there is some important exam to be given always gives me some mental support and solace. When I was reading I heard one of the persons around me mention abt B-Schools. He was a middle aged person and he was enquiring abt B-schools with another passenger who was a youngster. After sometime someone in the compartment asked me why have u bought the whole shop of magazines. I was so taken aback by the question that it took a moment for me to answer….also since I was in another world it wud have obviously taken some time for me to get back!! But anyways my father answered the query for me and then the middle aged man started asking me a lot of ques. following that.I was all the time thinking ‘arey yeh sab jaanke kya karna hai…how does it bother u’ and anyways probably we are brought up in such a way that we always find it a bit odd to speak to strangers.Then slowly the conversation started drifting towards Indian mythology…..how knowledgeable people were in olden days…Nalanda…Taksheela etc.Interesting conversation….till sometime I was not paying attention but when I saw the middle aged person so much involved in the talk I couldn’t help but listen.
Meanwhile, the kid’s father wanted to take some rest so he was trying his best to lull his kid to go to sleep…..but the kid showed no signs of the same.So, this middle aged person offered a helping hand saying that he cud take care of his son for sometime.But the father seemed to be apprehensive abt the idea….seeing the father I cud recollect this sentence “Beware!! There is a BIG BAD World outside”.And obviously we can’t really trust a stranger to take care of our kid.
Finally the kid went to sleep after a lot of coaxing and the father got some time to take rest.Our middle aged man continued with his conversation of Indian mythology.The talk drifted to Indian culture…..Indians, the family bonadage, emotions etc etc.The talk was nothing new to our ears…day in and day out we keep cursing the western culture and praising the Indian culture and keep trying to look for pros and cons of both but the sheer way in which this middle aged person was speaking was very captivating.It didn’t seem as if he was talking superficially but it came straight from his heart.And some people are so talented that the moment they speak their speech demands all ur attention and respect.While we were all involved in the conversation the kid who was sleeping on the top berth started moving towards the edge of the berth and was about to fall.The middle aged person noticed it and in a split second both my father and he were at the Kid’s rescue.The commotion woke up the kid’s father and he brought the kid down.A stranger whom initially the kid’s father was apprehensive abt giving his kid for some time subconsciously was always taking care of his kid when he was taking rest.
By then we had reached our destination and we had to get down.It is then that I realised tht 12 hrs of journey didn’t seem like an ordeal as I had imagined it to be……thanks to this person.He made sure that all the people in the compartment speak and share their experiences….which wud have probably not happened if not for him.Finally when we were leaving the middle aged person called me to his side and gave me a sweet telling that it was the custom on their side that if someone is going for an interview or an exam they should be fed with sweet for good luck.This gesture of his left me spellbound and thinking …….Was he really just another stranger whom we met in the train!!
Next day the interview process began with all the formalities to be carried out before it commenced and all.What touched me the most here was to see that we students were all helping each other out with the process….disclosing the questions that were asked to each other in the interview…disclosing the topic of GD to other groups and all.Weren’t we all strangers !!And we all very well knew that we were all competing with each other.The words of the middle aged person in the train that ‘its in our culture to consider everyone as one family’ flashed in my head.Probably consciously or subconsciously we too try belonging to this family and try building a family around us wherever we go….just that we are too occupied to realise it!!
So is it true to believe that there is a BIG BAD World outside then!! Whatever the answer to this but this trip of mine is surely going to be memorable.