’Coffee and Cream’

The pace at which I am posting these days and reading other’s posts as well sometimes really requires me to rake my brain to remember the right URL to my blog..well there was a day when I used to sit in my cubicle at my workplace and think one day when I am enrolled in a B-school and I am doing my dream course MBA I will have so many interesting things to write about that my blog will be filled with posts...that is when I will regularly sit around and keep posting on my blog left and right...and today here I am in a B-school hardly even visiting my blog...forget about posting I don’t even have time to read other’s posts...

So coming to the B-school bandwagon ...yeah bandwagon it is...if it were not then why would so many applicants be seen filling in forms day in and day out trying desperately to get out of what they think as a stagnated boring job to find peace and solace in a B-school...well let me tell you the first thing that you will realize after stepping in here is that what you actually wanted to do...the lucrative Finance and Mkting jobs might sure lure you to get into a B-school but don’t be surprised if you realize that you were happy with technology and would do anything to get back to it and be miles away from MBA....Ok so I ll not get into the intricacies and facts about what you will discover when you land in an MBA ...that is for the blessed souls to discover themselves...to realize and reap the fruits of their accomplishment who am I to spoil the fun and let the cat out of the bag...

Yeah, so what I thought I will write about instead is a few things that I have learnt and unlearnt in the last one year at this place....in a B-school...just like every institute has something good to teach you something for you to take along with you so has been this institute...The first thing that is notice worthy here is the batch unity....for an external person who is not a part of the system the batch will seem all integrated and frenship flourishing from all sectors from prompting answers from behind when a question is asked in the class by a prof. to helping get a pass grade in the exam...helping get decent scores in a presentation by pre-set and match fixed questions promptly thrown upon the presenter...to generously distributing the solution of assignments to the whole batch 1 hr before the submission...to proxying attendance ....yes, you guessed it right honesty and sincerity are obsolete words here......yeah they are the same kids who were competing against each other in the entrance exam CAT/XAT and in the GD/PI to secure a seat in this place...its amazing to see the batch spirit...at the same time there are these gossiping rounds as well...not to dispense with that...now the next thing you get to learn is that of the survival of the fittest....slightly tilted towards survival of the smartest...yes, you need to be smart to survive in the business world sir not just be fit...that’s an old saying not relevant in today’s world...so why not practise these tactics right from the B-school...oh did I contradict myself here...is it contradicting when I say that there is a good batch spirit with all generous helping hands spread out all over the place...and again when I say only the smart can survive...well so here you are...a place with a bundle of contradictions....yes, B-school you are talking of aren’t you....it is indeed a bundle of contradictions...the more you question the law and the logic the more you will end up confusing yourself...its a place away from the world where no logic rules.....only business rules...A world of business it is after all...frims and fancies....a place where everything glitters...A place where you can unlearn a few things learnt earlier and learn a few new techniques to probably unlearn them in the future....but nevertheless its a place where you enjoy college days...back to good old college days...where marks rule you and you rule over the marks...no bosses here to haunt you over...no more appraisal nightmares...the talks would have now transformed from gossiping about the supervisors to cursing the insane assignments thrown over you by profs....a few courses that you njoy and a few courses that you absolutely hate...grade sheets again!.....college b’day bumps....attack on good food....night outs for assignments as well as movies....

Putting all in just three words...’Coffee and Cream’

Its been a long long time since I have posted anything...I have even started to think that I seem to have nothing to post about..so today I thot let me see what all things can I sit here and write about...the irony is that I always used to think after I join a B-school I shall post everyday about my experiences ...as I will have so much new to write about. Little did I know that I will end up in a schedule where even for taking a breath you need to manage your time...

But look at the paradox here..as such the schedule keeps us so busy that I don’t get to see my roommate for days together at times although we are sharing a room in the hostel and from the last few days we have been absolutely free...and anyone we meet across everyone seems to be complaining of the ample amount of time with nothing to do. But then I am enjoying the leisure...it seems like ages since I have got some time to myself...since I have sat and reiterated on all the things...I had always wished I got some time to myself and today I have all the time for myself...I feel like hugging myself in glee...I am sure my friends are wondering as to how can I spend so much time alone in a room without going out anywhere...but I like spending time with myself...I don’t seem to require any company or going out I don’t know why...

So what have I been doing then all these days being absolutely free...first of all I have started to love this idea of getting up in the morning and telling myself wow absolutely upto me to do whatever I want...no engagements whatsoever....then keep fiddling with my laptop...watch some movies...watch friends...talk to my mother and scrap friends on orkut...catch up with songs...catch up with reading...wish a tv was also here...and spend a lot of time day dreaming...so that’s how I have been spending time...I am sure I can enjoy like this for all the coming days J!!

Apart from this well a year in MBA is going to come to an end very soon...and there have been a few learnings...both ways...good and bad....Bad as in I have realized that when there seems to be no solution for a situation either we have to take the situation as it is without any complaints or fight the situation or just beat it with some tactics...and if you don’t learn to do the latter two then you have to do the former and you end up as a loser...Maybe that’s how life is even...what everybody accepts and raises no voice about ends up becoming a rule and to live through it either you have to accept or beat it...Somehow I have understood how dishonesty and other vices in the society breeds after spending a year in a B-school...somehow the world of business which seemed to look all rosy and nice from far seems to have shown the true ugliness of dishonesty and fraud in its every nook and corner. Now the mantra seems to be “survival of the smartest” in place of “survival of the fittest”. But then there are a few good things also....there is this batch spirit which no one can beat...how we all seem to take all the vices in as a batch and seem to be emerging out of it together. How one person stumbles and there are four hands all ready to pick him up and set him ready to face the storm together with all the vigour.

So, that’s how life’s been so far with a lot of other surprises yet to be unfolded....and a lot of my batchmates seem to be tying the knot this year....so nice to see everyone happy finding life partners and all set to start with their new lives...and let me now again get back to my day dreaming and hopefully delve into better things the next time I post J...

My Best Friend's Wedding....

Its been a decade probably...I don’t remember...just a few shards of the memory of that painful separation just come alive at times...why was it painful even...doesn’t seem so now though..I know she must be happy now starting a new life ...making a new home for herself...stepping into a new world...would be awaiting the new happiness...would she have even thought of me...may be she would have...or atleast let me tell that to myself in order to please me..

Can I call our relationship as a beautiful friendship that we had experienced for 6 long years...I don’t know why but it sounds hollow now...but then yes we were friends...very good friends infact...a few misunderstandings and that had put an end....I am sure we both must have emerged stronger after that but I don’t know about her...although I still dream at times that we both are again together and are again exploring the depth of frenship just as we had done when we were kids...and today I feel so happy for her when I hear that she’s found her soul mate....I wish I was there...wud I have gone for her wedding...but she didn’t invite me...but then even I had not invited her isn’t it!!I guess every relationship that ends just ends because a certain time comes when both parties although willing to yield are not ready to do so because none is aware about the other’s willingness...I still don’t understand how can one erase all the memories of the other and move out of a friendship or any relationship for that matter....but it seems to be so common these days isn’t it...I mean friendship is still nothing...people seem to be walking in and out of all kinds of relationships....may be these things are suppose to be taken sportively!!....like change which is inevitable...but then whatever it is I can’t help myself remember her today and wish for her happiness...

I still remember How I used to tease her till she used to blush all red about what all we all will be doing in her marriage...How we would walk on to the Dias and trouble her husband...what fun we are going to have with her wedding gift...all those discussions then I seem to remember them crystal clear. But, little did we both know then that the day will definitely come in both our lives when we will be standing on the dias but just that the other one will not be there doing all the mischief that we had talked off once...So, that leaves me with just a few heartfelt wishes and a post on my best friend’s wedding.

A practical life

A hurried call of 10 min Just enough to say How was ur day??U too busy now is it??Ok will call you back when I am free..

About 15min off to close your eyes to catch a short nap and realize its been ages since you have called up home...

Hear to a song playing on the TV in the mess while having food and realizing it was once your favourite song for which you used to run and come wherever you were in the house to just get a glimpse of the video...and everyone at home made fun of u....whereas now it plays and you just smile at yourself and continue gulping down some food hurriedly

Remembering the last time you watched a movie with ma and you laughing over the Oscar winning performance of the actors in the movie

The last time you and your brother had a fight over the remote

When was the last time you planned and re-planned over a family trip and only realized that when you set off for the trip all the planning ended up in shambles

Talked for hrs over the phone till you were found sleeping with ur mobile near ur ear in the morning

Last time you fell in love with a song and heard to it over and over again

And when you sit and ponder over the above things a few questions linger in your mind...can there be a life which goes a little slower...where you don’t look at the time and say “Gosh its already time...wish I had a few more hrs in the day”...where you don’t look at ur peer and tell urself “need to work harder...before I am left behind”....where you don’t look for ur family and friends in a list of names in the phonebook of your mobile....where you don’t have to tell your near and dear ones “ll call u back when I am a little free...no time right now...plz understand I have a hectic schedule”...where you work for urself and not for others...where when you are feeling a little low and need a shoulder to lean on u don’t have to end up finding none for either everyone’s far away or you are not near them or simply because they too have as hectic a schedule as you do....a life where people have the time to talk things which isn’t strictly business....a life where things go at a steady pace in which each and everyone has time for everything....where life is not starkly practical in the face as it seems to be...where when you complain you are not said “Now don’t be immature...be practical”...where you don’t need to be called mature and understand that emotions of people have been washed away with the scurrying of people to catch up with the fast moving practical life and they have no time to loose on such silly impractical things...

Sometimes I really wish life had remained as simple as it had been in the earlier days...people earned a small income working in govt offices...returning home every day at 5-6 in the eve spending time with family...not having these high desires of having a LCD or Plasma tv at home or owning a BMW...simply because they just didn’t exist...life must have been filled with so much leisure with the entire family managing to stay close by sharing happiness living life...life wudn’t have been lived as practically as it is being lived by us now...and may be if I had posted a post then with all this stuff no one would have smirked and told me like now “c’mon be practical yaar...what are u cribbing about...now will you leave ur post grad and get back home”...and I ll only heave a sigh and answer “No I ll not....life has to be lived practically afterall...And what have I been doing God how much time did I waste lecturing abt life and its practicality...how stupid!!”

A Taste of Mumbai

I sat leisurely on a couch on one windy day by the window and just let myself drift away …what was I doing…was I dreaming…
A small little flat with a balcony looking over an over-crowded city…teeming with people..wide long roads seeming to stretch endlessly..sky scrapping buildings looking as if a few more storeys and it would touch the sky…a land where the twinking stars announce the start of a new day…the sun rises only to be greeted with a wide grin by the people who have learnt to rise before the sun…a land where everyone greets every other person with a smile travelling together hand in hand…a city where there is unity in diversity where a person cleaning the train and the person managing the intra city railways travel together in a local train side by side sharing newspaper and breakfast…a city where hard work is the only means to earn your day’s meal…a city where life is difficult yet so fulfilling.. A place where every moment you wish to pause time and before you do so another moment passes by...

I smiled to myself and thought what are you dreaming of…the city of dreams…and the city of dreams it was…

Happiness a myth

Please don’t go by the title of the post since I am not intending to target my content of this post anywhere near to the title. Its just that I felt the title just resembles the state of the mind we are in right now just before our first end-term commences and the verdict for this term is declared. When we just started to feel that we feel no more...when we just started to smile and wonder when was the last time we smiled...when we just looked at the clock and wondered will I manage to pull off some sleep before dawn tomm...when 24 hrs seemed to be as unjustified in the day as the marks of our course ....when happiness seemed to be entwined with performance in the courses and seemed like a far away myth...there was a notice there declaring a sentence ...infact another sentence to death...attendance compulsory....Kathakali performance in audi at 7 P.M.
A hue and cry in the batch...statements like “what the hell is going on??”...”Abey end term mein kathakali karne se pass karenge kya?”....”Yaar bas yahi baki tha ab karne ko...seedha goli ya hang kyun nahi kar dete”...and a lot other comments.But notice was from dean office so no one dared to disobey and meek like a mice the batch trotted to the audi at sharp 7 in the evening after re-planning and rescheduling the work to be done for the assignments to be submitted...re-planning the meetings and subtracting another two hrs from the 4 hrs of sleep that you thot u could manage today. The dance started with a brief intro which went conveniently ignored and unheard by the audience...I wonder if few of them even knew that they had come to watch Kathakali and not Bharatnatyam...and then began the show with all the hullabaloo hushed.
And as the performers entered the arena a silence fell through the audience. They were witnessing something that most of them had watched only on our television sets but not in real. The two performers who started the dance sequence dressed in the attire of Kathakali with all the expressions on their faces that you got to watch in real was definitely captivating. And as the dance progressed with the narration of Goddess Sati and Shiva in Kailash not being invited to the ceremonial Yagyan performed by Daksha Sati’s father the audience took in all with plain admiration.And the best part which came in next was the performers getting of the stage and performing right in between the audience which took the audience by surprise and enthralled them to the core .The spellbound audience couldn’t help but just bring down the audi with a standing ovation forgetting about the time imbalance that the event had brought in their busy schedule...forgetting about the impending horror of the monstrous exams waiting to devour them in two days time...forgetting to wait and think if they have the time to smile...forgetting to calculate what effect it will have on my performance in the next exam....everyone just enjoyed, smiled, applauded and washed away all their apprehensions and tension in the mesmerizing event of the kathakali dance...which transformed all the remarks made earlier in the day to a wide grin on the face and a massive admiration for the performers and the institute for making this performance a success. So happiness didn’t seem to be a myth afterall ...may be its just a myth to think so!!

Term 1 Coming to an end

Yes, believe it or not its one term into our path to attain an MBA degree...our two years league yet to be established and fulfilled. Its like yesterday I had been waiting to join XIM and was running about collecting and arranging my documents for the joining formalities to be fulfilled and its already one term coming to an end. With quite a few learnings that have been driven home here we poor mortals wait for the wrath of end-terms to befall us. With the freshers fresh out of college driving us to worry about grades more than we are currently doing and the work ex people driving us to the learning mode and making us focussed more on what you are looking for in the course...and between both these your lone self trying to surpass all this and run away into the glory of your world of njoyment to njoy a peaceful nap...as Eco ma’am would put it in her words “the opportunity cost” that you seem to realize now ...which you had paid by giving up those days of lazing about and sleeping on the weekends and not being on your toes all the time with the endless series of classes, quizzes, assignments and projects hovering above your head all the time.

With the term 1 coming to a close a lot of things seem to have got clearer as to what could have been a better way to manage your term..where exactly you goofed up and why...what you need to target on in the next term which you have missed doing in this term...and all your areas of improvement. Among all the things that term 1 had taught us the biggest thing had been time management I guess....although its still a long way to go before you can declare yourself to have expertised on it...but then it atleast taught you how to manage a whole working day with classes till 9 P.M in the night the next day with a heap of work load of assignments and presentations to go when you had just got around 2 hrs of sleep in the last 24 Hrs and still try to keep ur brain alive and in working condition. A lot others have picked up on networking skills too...its nice to see them having mingled with the batch so easily...a trait that needs conscious effort from your end if you belong to the same kind of specimen as me...but a trait that is indeed a talent and a strength if excelled at.But in all this learning there is something that people have unlearnt here too....could be termed as seriousness..could be termed as honesty. Seriousness because you know if one person in your group is serious about the submission of the assignment within the deadline then the rest of the group seems to relax and sit laid back....and honesty because if one person in the class has studied and come then the rest of the class can party that night since all have acquired the talent of scoring the same marks as the person who had studied the next day.

So, probably somewhere the balance has struck between learning and unlearning resulting in null again.....has it or has it not???..... probably it will get discovered in the days to come!!

Simply Awesome!!

I love that feeling when I walk down the road leading to my hostel from the insti all alone in the darkness of the night ...past midnight...with a cup of coffee in one hand and a packet of chips in other...listening to the silence of the darkness around me...humming a song to myself as the light drizzle of the rain keeps sprinkling over me like holy water being sprayed down from the sky. I love listening to the eerie noise of the insects as I walk down finishing my coffee on the way and sit with my companion ...songs and laptop in my room and spend time with myself...typing down a mail without thinking...just typing down whatever comes to my mind, going thru the blogs of others and peeking a little into each one’s life relating it to mine...sitting idle and just refreshing the past memories and smiling to myself while the melody of the songs keep playing in my ear...looking at the snaps of near and dear ones and feeling them far but still close...painting up new dreams on the canvas of my imaginations and then finally feeling the sleep engulf me and overpower me till I give up on my contentment and get carried away with it.

Hapazard...

Amidst all the hustle bustle ....Amidst all the noise I feel the silence and the vacuum of the distance move stealthily and engulf the passing time.

Time which seems to go at a lightning speed yet slow enough to creep till that moment much waited for seems to be endlessly away .....fading away quickly from sight

Thoughts seem to be lingering far away in that subconscious mind ...deep down somewhere there...just peeking now and then signifying its presence

And I just close my eyes and say just take me away....deep into that land where distance, time and thoughts just seem to fade away

Where is the time??

After another hectic week of quizzes, assignments and presentations finally there is some time today to just sit back and relax a bit. So, here goes my new post ....Its like one of those times when you just feel like typing away on the keyboard not having anything specific to type. You have a whole lot of thots lingering on the top of ur mind yet nothing that you can think of penning down...but still you want to write ...write something down. Doesn’t it happen at times that you just feel like letting urself out....you are so overwhelmed with thots that you just feel like blurting them out somewhere and when you actually find that all your near and dear ones are far away and the only option you have is to sit and pen ur thots down on a paper you just keep holding the pen and nothing seems to surface...

This reminds me of this class presentation of ours which had happened a few days ago. The topic was “Effect of Technology on Communication”. As usual we , a lot of busy bees , started off our preparation for presentation at 2 ‘o clock in the night...working in a group of ten people. Each one of us putting forth numerous ideas and creativity in place and working hard to make it big enough for the class not to doze off and gain atleast a percent of entertainment from it if not wisdom. We worked almost the entire night searching for videos , information, brainstorming on various role plays and finally came up with the final presentation....which only ended up with the projector not working in the class and we trying to manage inspite of it. Now the irony of the situation is that ten of us worked hard to make the presentation and the slides but none of us actually sat down to take out time and communicate on a lighter note among ourselves in person...we were all busy trying to get done with the work and catch some sleep considering that sleep is a very rare commodity in a B-school. And after the presentation one comment given by our instructor brought a second’s stroke of thot passing each and everyone’s face in the class....when she said “ We say technology has improved and world has become a smaller place...we can easily contact our near and dear ones within seconds thru mobiles, e-mails etc but don’t you think the smaller the world is becoming in terms of technology getting us closer the larger are the distances becoming in terms of emotional distances” ...the statement is so true...distances definitely do make a difference. No matter how much you try to maintain contact thru the technology the gap is always there. There is no substitute for you meeting in person...feeling their touch...seeing them smile...their expressions..their concern when you sit close to them and speak face to face. And more than that I guess the compromise that we do with our relationships blaming the busy schedule is what again a matter to brood on.

Like, I just cut down on my calls to home bcoz I thot I was running short of time bcoz of my schedule. My friend stopped coming online because she was not finding time out of her office tasks. So technology making world a smaller place where does it come into picture...if we can compromise on tedious tasks of letter writing and e-mailing and go for chatting and voice conferencing in keeping in touch we can also compromise on relations by looking for more shorter ways of communicating by saying that we are short of time. So, even if the physical distance is cut down upon with technology in place in order to make use of the same to bring down the emotional distances as well is to spare some time....and I guess there cannot be any technology here which can be sought for in order to find a shortcut. So when I sit here and think I wish there was someone here I could just talk out to the answer I wud get in return wud be the same as I wud have given “Where is the time?”

Settling with the unsettlement

Yes, so now we the PGDM batch of 2008 are beginning to settle down I guess what... with the first outing trip of the batch in the midst of the hectic schedule and with two tests to go off tomm...if you are getting me wrong here..then let me correct you. No, it doesn’t mean we have mastered as to how to manage time and as to how to deal with the seven courses on hand this trimester. Its just that we have stopped complaining...we have accepted that a few words like a peaceful sleep, sitting down to relish some food, lazing about in those early hrs of the morning, day-dreaming (for that matter dreaming in the nights also), a nice long walk, listening to a nice lovely song over and over again have all become those unattainable and unheard dreams. Yes, we have finished our mid-terms that brings us to exactly half way of the first term and we have I guess successfully learnt now to settle with the unsettlement..a deal struck there...and signed.
Talking about the courses, seven courses to be mastered over in this trimester.... Can’t really talk about all in this post ....starting with Financial Accounting...favourite course of the batch. Although its that number crunching and ultra confusing course where you don’t know which side of the balancing equation does your financial item find a place and the balancing of the equations reminds you of those chemistry equations which we were cribbing to balance in our childhood. Somehow the accounting equations take me back to the suburbs of fourth – fifth standard where a balanced eq was the next biggest achievement nxt to that of Einstien’s.
Coming to the next course which is on of my fav....Economics.Now why do I like that course...well, its as good as giving an answer to the question as to why do I like chocolates.Probably I like the simplicity the course has about it. Simplicity as in what the course teaches you is everything that you have always known but you never knew the logic behind how the things took place. Its like rediscovering everything all over again....understanding the logic behind the whole lot of things.So, these are the two courses which have so far won me over and I have fallen for. Other courses include communication which is the only class where you can manage to yawn, sleep, njoy and do everything that you have always wanted to do when a heavy class is going on. Its another of our favourite classes because not only the course is light but the way ma’am handles it actually helps you to relax and put up a smile and listen to the class. And four other courses added to the term HRM,MC,QM and OB....adding stars to the already hectic schedule. And the binary digit marks acquired now and then are the added flavours to the schedule. But the best part of doing an MBA apart from the challenging courses are the group assignments and other group activities where in you get to do a lot of learning from the other people in your batch...the networking ability that you develop....something that every MBAite tries to add to their pool of talents.And what with the unending series of tests,quizzes, assignments and presentations.....the only thing that can be said...the higher the unsettlement the more the fun and the more the settlement with the same J.

And I said...

Will you let me hold your hand...

And all that he did was just smile and say...

Let me hold on to yours....

Just the Beginning!!

Its been a while since I have had some time off to sit and write down something. The last month had gone past so fast that sometimes I really need to sit and reflect when did the time fly past me...did I even realize.So here I am...in my new home...yes, hostel again...my dwelling place for the next two whole years.Needless to tell that this place reminds me of each and every moment of my days in BITS....it just sometimes gives me the feeling that I am walking on those roads leading to the insti again...a nostalgia...a longing to go back in time.The same old feeling of everything new around...an entire era transformed and change being the buzz word for the next few months.
Courses,assignments and tests pouring over...followed by interactive sessions,cultural functions and DJs...with hardly any time to blink.A new face everywhere...the stranger the feeling the more you feel like just vanishing from the spot getting back to ur older self and older life the more everything around seems to pull you back to the pavilion.Questions teeming in your mind.... will I be able to make a mark here...will I start feeling at home...which unkown face is going to befriend me and transform the distance between us to frenship.As I sit here and write this post there are a whole lot of things that I feel like doing...I would like to prepare for the next test...I would like to catch on some sleep...I would like to write more...I would like to maybe just go back in time a little...go back to my world...I would like to stay here and re-discover myself........wud like the wait to get over....wud like to just keep listening to you....and then when I see the bridge between the night and the day melting before my eyes I tell myself is that sleep that is overpowering me or is it the other way round.And I tell myself just wait and watch...probably a lot more things lying around the corner...this is just the beginning!!

Summer Vaccation

Its almost a decade since the word “summer vacation” has sounded so very fascinating to me…since I eagerly waited for the exam bell to ring on the day of the last annual exam paper and school to be declared closed for two whole months…the chaos following the bell all students running all over each other to the arms of their parents waiting outside shouting screaming “summer hols” “summer hols”.And here I am ….as I see the small kids playing in the park infront of our building…putting up charts of paintings all over the building walls..falling over the cycles and skates trying to master the art of cycling and skating…hunting for nook and corners playing hide and seek..in short making the best of their hols I am sitting leisurely watching them …njoying mine :)!Yeah, after a decade I have now got to njoy a month and a half of summer vacation…and summer vacation it is!!A hazzle free life…no getting up in the morning and rushing to office..no submission of project meeting deadlines…no more of those brawls with leads…no more of filling in of your efforts…no more of being so occupied so as to find time for taking a breath in peace.A blissful life.Sleep…eat…watch movies…sleep…read novels..shop..sleep..and njoy doing nothing..njoy the leisure.The concept of spending summer vacation has changed though…and has undergone a transition with passing time …earlier it was like chalking out a plan as to what all fun things you wanted to do this vacation and now its like you are njoying doing nothing :)!!

This feeling of njoying the nothingness is always there when you are in that period of wait..when you know that you are going to venture into a new world in a short while and you are just preparing yourself…giving yourself time…just waiting quietly smiling for the doors to be ajar…and along with it somewhere there is a sinking feeling sometimes… hope you will be able to manage everything on your own…hope you will not fall short for anything and will stand upto ur expectations..and then there is always the excitement around to engulf you in as you are stepping out of your current world. Life is so strange really…sometimes you want to just fast forward life and see ahead what is in store for you..is it just going to continue the way it is…what are you heading to and sometimes you just know where your life is going..where its taking you..and you just wait with that smile of certainty …waiting to discover another set of things that life’s got in store.

The same kind of feeling that I had felt when I was leaving home for the first time while going for my engineering…the same excitement and the same nervousness and again the same reassuring smile from my mother and hug from my father as they were seeing me off at the station :)

On my last working day

Hi one and all,

After spending over two and half years here in the ODC and experiencing, learning, growing , falling and exploring new relations and circumstances bidding an adieu sure does feel a little overwhelming.

It would definitely remain a memorable time that I got to spend with you all here. And as I welcome this change to explore another new field ,by pursuing higher studies in MBA ,I hope the learning that I have imbibed here grows and moulds further . Hope I carry forward the wisdom gained and the acquaintances and friends along as well.

Wishing one and all the very best for their future endeavours. Adieu till our paths cross again.

Regards,

Start of Another CountDown :)!

A countdown to begin…
In just about a week’s time all the known faces will fade away to the dimly lit memory lanes…some of them will remain as memories and some in reality in contact…another list of incidents added and stacked away to be remembered and cherished as time progresses. Nostalgic wouldn’t really be the right word to use…. I know I am not but then I can’t even say this that I will not miss my system which has befriended me the last two and half years of my stay here…the hot cup of choco almond which has always been there to help me rejuvenate my spirits…the lunch time gossiping and leg-pulling always there to bring a smile on whenever remembered…the sudden announcements of pani puri treats where you realize you are the one who’s got to treat after happily having had your share of the delicacy…and the taste (both bitter and sweet) of professionalism….those few leads under whom you had worked and really admired their dedication…and those that you didn’t…bouts of unprofessional out-bursts in the team…chocolates and sweets distribution…team-outings…gossips…cribbings…the list of songs playing on your winamp which keep assuring you that they can just pull you out of anything and everything just that you need to put on your ear phones …..and there goes an unending list.
But above all there is one huge learning that any profession gives you and which no degree can ever teach and that is people management….dealing with various kinds of people is one thing that you just can’t get to learn in any institute.The wisdom of taking all kinds of people in your stride is one talent that I guess cannot be mastered in a short time. Its infact a continuous learning process that keeps growing as the years of experience keep accumulating. Its really interesting to observe the various ways in people take up their responsibilities…the different ways they tackle their tasks…and the most appreciable among them are those who work in a planned way and in the most organized manner.And its truly said the true nature of a person can be perceived only by observing how the person handles high-pressure situations. Different people handle pressure in different ways…and keeping your composure under pressure is one art that every individual tries his best to learn I guess.People who have already mastered this art really deserve an accolade.And when you get to work under such a supervisor or module lead you got to call yourself the luckiest of the whole lot.And the third learning would be balancing work and home and friends. A perfect balance maintained between your personal and professional life a virtue which needs conscious effort from your end.Three learnings that your profession strives to teach you.Hope these learnings go a long way and are moulded and groomed further in the coming days.
One interesting question that I was posed a few days back was…what is the need for you to take up a job or go for higher studies??You can happily relax at home and njoy isn’t it??Somehow I have never understood till date what my answer to such questions should be.I usually answer saying “Good suggestion…Thanks”.But I just wonder if I start thinking on those lines then what was the need for me to study either…could have happily sat and njoyed my childhood at home isn’t it…why be literate also!!Thankfully, not everyone thinks that way otherwise half the population would be illiterate today.Had it been not for my profession I would have had no identity of my own…no learnings and wisdom would have been driven home…I would have been just another being cocooned in a closed world unaware of what an independent identity means…how does the sense of achievement feel. Anyways, whatever it is…different people have different perceptions.And questions like these just cannot be answered.
So now that I have witnessed the taste of having a unique identity and have njoyed my short term professional life I will really miss a few cherished moments that I have been fortunate to experience in this place.But that is life isn’t it…as long as you have all the pleasure of being in the moment you don’t realize it…and the realization dawns only when you leave those moments behind you and advance to explore new events of your life…and then you can only look back and think about the moments that have passed and just smile quietly to yourself till the next countdown starts ticking away :)!

So this was it!

There are these times when you actually feel that you are a mere spectator and life has taken complete control over itself…the reigns of life have slipped out of your hands and your role is to just see it …as it is going …with a broad smile..gazing at the way it makes its way through… curving here…turning there..and gliding through, past all obstacles..above all hindrances….proceeding ,accomplishing…and breaking thru.Yeah, that’s how I exactly feel now when I am being asked “oh are you going for higher studies”…”Got thru MBA is it??”..”It had always been your aspiration right”…”All the best.Good to hear you made it”.And I can just smile but do anything when people ask me “So, happy now…must be feeling on top of world right??”.
I am really not sure if I am feeling that way.MBA …pursuing and aspiring for it had been an amazing process….I had taken the decision over night just because I thot I wanted something on hand to keep me occupied…to struggle for …and MBA entrance exams had been my choice…. not sure when my over-night decision grew into a career decision and a reason for perseverance and a yearning to do an MBA.Giving up…breaking down…getting up and trying again…squeezing out time off the schedule became a regular habit.And in this whole process pain of not making it or failure became insignificant so much so that making it thru or not also has started seeming insignificant somehow…
Just like I have mentioned in the beginning of the post …all through out your journey of perseverance you try to hold on infact cling on to the reigns of your life in your hands and try hard to keep it on track and in the process you are bruised badly, you are hurt, you fall, rise, experience the worst and finally when you stop bothering about whether the bruises pain any longer or not….whether you bother any longer if you are clinging onto the reigns or not, that’s when life just takes on itself the control and you can do nothing but watch smiling and thinking so this was it…was it!! :)
So XIMB it will be then…the place where I would pursue my MBA dream…another new beginning.Another hostel room all set to welcome me and become my home for the next two years.Another set of strangers waiting to become acquaintance and then convert to friends.In another two months I would be on a new campus ….which is awaiting to unfold a series of tests,assignments,lectures,presentatitons,friends,night-outs,treats,b-day bumps,grades,vacations,projects….all to be re-lived again.Hope I make the best of it.Hope I stand to its expectations of me….especially since this time pursuing this degree would not just mean me just acquiring my dream of a Post Graduation but a lot more added to it….a lot other things that have gone hand in hand with it…a lot of support and sacrifice to which I need to stand up for…hope all that has started off well will end well one day me standing up for everything… and me posting on that one day just like today…so this was it :)!

Dreams Galore

Feet deep rooted to the ground and imaginations flying high
Thousands of dreams from nowhere shadowing your thoughts
Overwhelming to see how intricately woven they could be
A shade of apprehension
Diversified and mixed colours as colourful as the rainbow
Foggy mornings…dew drops…
whip of wind carrying light drops of rain
A few words far and between
A light melodious tune playing far away
Falling snow
And a light smile at the end …

Strange!!

Yeah, ‘Strange’ that is the word that I can use rightly I guess. Unexpectedly strange it was…..that is all I can say. An exam for which I left all my onsite opportunities…all my weekend’s leisure and fun…all my night’s cosy sleep..all the recent movies…Life had just been working non-stop during the day just to meet the targets ensuring that I get to reach home atleast an hr early to prepare. And finally yesterday when I was standing there waiting for my turn of the interview call I had a strange feeling…I just wanted to run away from that place. I didn’t want to be questioned as to why I want to go for an MBA…what do I plan doing…Why aspiring to start an Industry and in what sector…What my hobbies were…what I like to read…what specialization am I looking for…why joined IT industry…what was the meaning of my name….what my strengths and weaknesses were etc etc. I just didn’t want to answer any of those questions anymore. I just didn’t want to find reasons and give a concocted answer to all those questions that are asked time and again in these MBA interviews.
A simple answer that I have…its always been my ambition and a dream of mine to go for higher studies in India…MBA interested me among the limited options of higher studies present here and that’s why I want to go for it. Plain and simple… just to fulfil my ambition…not for money…not for a career change…not to become an entrepreneur or a CEO of any organization…not to see my photo on the front cover of any business magazine….just want to be a post graduate for my own satisfaction to fulfil my own dream that’s it…now will you give me a seat !!And the answer would be ‘No’ ofcourse…why?? Because that is a very plain answer…nothing great about the answer…its not concocted and distorted as per everyone’s expectations…the answer has to sound more promising …more substantial…with some added masala (salt and pepper would do it even better).I want to become an entrepreneur…. 5 on 5 points…I wish to do some value add to the society by starting an industry of my own keeping social good in mind …wow cent percent!!
What if I say I don’t have such sky high dreams…want to lead a simple life with none of these added on frills…I might even decide to become a home-maker if I feel my ambitions are coming in the way of my family and go for social service in my leisure …and for sure my name will be crossed right then on their list of calls. What is the need to go for an MBA then would be the following question maybe…and what can I say?? Should I say do you think all those people passing out from an MBA college are actually serving the society …is everyone really thinking of social good…and How many are staying back in India first of all…..and how many of them are going to become entrepreneurs!! Why can’t someone pursue MBA out of sheer interest…not looking for a concrete outcome as such out of the degree…and put the knowledge gained to some good use as and how the time progresses…not necessarily becoming an entrepreneur/CEO or starting up an industry of your own or earning a huge package.
All of a sudden I seem to have given up on these interviews…or is it on myself…I am not sure. I want to be away from these added on frills and put-up answers…I don’t feel like stretching my imaginations beyond myself to find an answer to all those questions and framing convincing answers…I do not want to sound honest when in actual I am not. May be MBA is not my cup of tea anymore. I am not able to place myself in a put-up world. I am just finding it ‘Strange’….a ‘Strange’ world it is the world of business…everything framed and put in a golden frame for outside people to be lured by the magnificence and one single honest and simple answer will be a bland black mark in the golden frame. But , although we all know the stark truth behind it we all are still trying hard to pursue it…frame more and more convincing answers and step into the world of frills and fancies…into the golden frame…….we are ready to make all sacrifices to be a part of it .And what more can I say than saying that its really ‘Strange’. And I am sure one year down the line I will again be preparing, I will again be sitting in some interview hall waiting for my turn and again I will probably be feeling weird and strange just the same way.

Malgudi Days - Relived

Its been going so busy over the past few weeks that I have been hardly finding time to sit back and take a breath in peace.Days are just flying past without me realizing or acknowledging them I guess.And last weekend just before going to sleep I realized that in this busy schedule of mine I have not even been opening my bedroom window before dropping off to sleep.And when finally the window panes were ajar the cold gush of wind on my face made me just stand by near the window for a few minutes….feeling the cool breeze.The wind felt so very refreshing that u couldn’t just help but stand still there taking in the freshness along….being carried away along with the breeze.And in that lost state my glance fell on the slum area that is directly visible from my bedroom window.

Somehow whenever I look at those small huts and houses present in that slum I always get reminded of the serial “Malgudi days”.The most amazing thing about the people in that slum is that they are always in the mood of celebration.All round the year you see them organizing some or the other event in their place and you can hear the music and laughter in the air.Every evening they make sure that loud music is played and all the little kids of the slums are called and made to dance.The whole crowd of grown ups sit around the kids and encourage the kids with claps and cheer them.You can make out the pride in the little kids eyes for entertaining their folks and for the admiration that they are gaining in return for their performance.And when there is a festival the grown-ups are also not spared.Everyone of them is forced to perform and the kids do the cheering this time…it’s the kids turn now :)!Its so good to see the whole fun-filled group up from the Bedroom window.And every morning is greeted with hymns from the small little temple in the slum and you can see everyone right from a small kid to the elders offering their morning bows in the temple.

I wonder when I last made it to the nearby temple early in the morning.I wonder when did our society here last have an unplanned celebration or a get-together.I somehow feel we are all in such a hurry always that there is absolutely no time and importance given to such simple events in life that can add some cheer to it ….hurry to reach office…the honking vehicles that blare into ur ears right in the morning just like those morning hyms from the temple…hurry to meet deadlines set in task deliverables…to be noticed in the team and get a good appraisal….hurry to make a point in the group meetings and make ur presence noticed….hurry to catch up with an onsite assignment and make a few extra bucks and add a few extra stars to ur resume…hurry to make a seat in an MBA college to make a bigger job which is again directly proportional with the pay-package ..so the quicker the seat is grabbed the better….hurry to be among the first few in the queue to be served for lunch in order to get a little extra of the fries and sweet dish for the same pay……hurry to play ur way thru to reach the top of the career ladder quickly…..hurry to find a shorter route to success…hurry to catch the first bus home….and finally hurry to get back home and catch few extra hrs of sleep again with the blaring horns standing testimonial to it.A hurried world that we all live in everyday.Why we are all in so much hurry I do not know….why does patience have to take a back step….why everything in our world needs to be achieved in such a hurry who knows….probably that’s why even happiness and peace also gives us a hurried visit most of the times and goes away before we can realize!!

Sometimes I really wonder is it a different world down there in that slum.Malgudi days in its reality may be!!That short stories serial which used to be telecasted long ago on television…the small cheerful dream-town of Malgudi with its cheerful bunch of people celebrating every moment of life together in a different world altogether…..far from the busy schedule…far from the grim faces that u see everyday at work place…far from all work place related complicated politics….far from the complicated thot processes of people who have failed to realize simplicity and value it in the truest sense ages back…far from all the hurry and everything.A crowded little town with ultra simple people residing in it with absolute peace and cheer in the air living each and every moment of life in the simplest way possible miles away from the hurried busy world of the city .The slum and the people in the slum that I see from the window of my bedroom remind me of that serial always and how much I envy them. Long live their cheer and happiness which is so contagious that it will always bring a smile on all those faces who are viewing them from their bedroom windows.And thanks to them for making me realize that a little time off from the hurried schedule can feel so very fulfilling.