Elusive as ever!!

She got up slowly from her slumber and walked across the bedroom towards the window….a gust of wind…some fresh air is all that she needed to put her conflicting thoughts to ease…She glanced at her reflection in the window pane and stood staring into the eyes of the image infront of her …she peered into them hoping that she would find the answers to her confusion…but they seemed to betray her just like her heart….

She wondered…what is that she wanted…she had everything that she had ever desired for…she remembered her yearning in the past for that one place she wanted to be in…and today she was there…very much there…yet she was confused again…why…she wanted to know..could somebody anybody give her some solace …

She retraced her past again and again…hoping against hope that she would remember just one instance any one instance which could stand testimonial to the fact that the present is what she wanted and the present is what she should be in looking ahead into future and not turning back and retracing at what has passed….her mind wanted to look ahead think of future yet her heart returned to the past…her mind wanted to find a logic to draw her away from the past, term the present as advancement over the past…yet her heart didn’t seem to agree…

There was something in the past that her heart still yearned for…it seemed so ironic to her…that routine that mundane life that she always had wanted to run away from ..her heart seemed to want to go back to the very same routine life….she had thought she wanted a change…a variety…she wondered if at all she went back to that same comfort zone of hers would she again crave for that change she had yearned for then…would again life seem like a routine to her….would she be contended….or would her heart again start a new craving this time….a craving for what she had left and gone….

She looked at her image in the mirror again…And smiled to herself….thinking that the question of what if would always be there….and its only when she brings her heart and mind to explore why not that is when she will be contended probably….Happiness and contentment are much more elusive than you imagine them to be always…May be to accept that they are elusive is where lies the trick…