Its been a long time since I blogged......I feel as if I have lost the habit to even think of a post and type it down now too...
I had been cleaning my cupboards last weekend....to make space for the new suitcase...and I found my diary that I used to keep when I was just about 9 years old probably.....First of all I couldn’t recognize my own handwriting.....and it took sometime for me to realise that it was indeed me who had maintained a daily entry then and that too in ink....
And I actually laughed at what I had written.....first at my thoughts as a child....and then at the very simplicity of the thoughts....the world seemed to be such a small place then....or rather how do I put it....so simple, lucid and decipherable then. I was amazed at the clear cut definitions of “best friend” and “enemy” that I had defined in my diary then....the days that used to start with mom’s breakfast and mom making you ready for school, packing ur school bag and tiffin....and the days that used to end with ur mom narrating stories to ur little brother and you trying to imitate ur mother and narrate stories to him when he would get up in the middle of the night.....there didn’t seem to be any place for uncertainty....or rather those were the days when I used to think grown-ups have always been as grown-ups and life had been and would be perennially this way with me attending school with my little brother...with the same set of frens....with the same set of dreams and ideas...And even if there was any change...say in school or something....I used to be so excited with the idea of exploring a new place and having new frens.....
Life could be so simple then....its amazing to even imagine that once life was actually like that....it was the same you who used to decipher life in that way. And today its the same you....but life somehow doesn’t seem to be like that anymore....so many concepts have changed....infact the word concept probably has ceased to exist....my thoughts and ideas seem to be so complicated now...that even I fail to decipher them....I just don’t know how the day starts and ends now......everyone now seems to be a fren and everyone seems not to be as well....everyone seem to be caring for you and you for everyone and at the same time none care for you and you care for none........and sometimes I care to think that how come I don't care....now the only thing which is constant and certain is change and uncertainty....you seem to hate both of them yet you term life to be mundane and monotonous without them and crave for them.....And the worst thing is in the event of change you feel I wish I could just retrace back and cling to that what was there previously......
And the biggest irony is that everyone whom you speak to claims to be a person simple at heart.....not excluding me that is!!
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