My Best Time in the day!!

So as the title of the post goes let me describe the most favorite part of my day.....daily.....my so called "me time".....

So the alarm goes off.....and everyday....mind you every day I wake up to think how can it be 7 am this soon.....for dear God's sake it's still dark.....and especially now that it's "winters" in Mumbai....well the pain of waking up when the alarm goes off is even more.... Especially with me..... who does not and never belonged to the early riser category..... I have always timed my alarm right from school such that there is just enough time for every thing to finish and reach at the destination just at the knick...whether it be school, exams, college, interviews or job.....alarm always set to 10 min before (for the solace that there is 10 min left still) I really really need to be out of bed or else the purpose is lost!!

So, cutting out the painful part.....the best part of my day begins from the point I get out of the lift and walk down to catch my bus to office. I just love that fog and the slight shiver in the chilly wind.....every day without fail it just takes me to BITS and reminds me of my walk from my hostel to insti in that chill weather in winters when your face and hands used to hurt....it used to be that cold!! Everyday I feel like clicking a pic of the misty fog and everyday I feel sad for not being able to capture the perfect fog in my phone camera... I am not joking.....I really try everyday.....And I just love to walk to my bus smelling the fog.... Yes I know that it has no smell.....but still!!

And then starts the bus ride, as mine is the first stop I never fail to get the window seat.....I just choose the same seat everyday....in the same bus....and push the curtains for the sunlight to come in.....because I like it bright and lighted. ......dont like the dingy darkness (because of which my fellow passenger beside me curses me daily I am sure) .....

And after that once I am settled comfortably starts my 1.5 hrs of me time.....purely mine......I am so much in love with the bus ride and my me time that I swear to God that I really fret when someone known comes into the bus on few unfortunate days and wants to strike a conversation with me......

And the same bus ride and walk to my building in the evening....repeat telecast of the morning bliss!! 

These 3.5 hrs that I get in the day all to myself.....are the best time of the day for me.....which probably help in maintaining my sanity......listen to music ( FM 104.8.....I salute you) , sleep, read, write, be lost in thoughts.....pure bliss!!Many people have time and again advised me to move closer to office and I have just not been able to explain to them why is that I don't consider that as any benefit to me.....I just am so much in love with my daily dose of me time :)!! It's true that spending this much time on road does cut my time at home (which I do feel guilty off) but I have always liked a hectic day.....the feel of insufficiency of 24 hrs in the day has always been loved by me. .....the more the leisure the more the discomfort!! So, that's why cheers to my so called "me time" of the day.....it just can't be compensated!!

Pixie & The Goblin.......!!!

So there was this Pixie who used to love to sleep sleep and sleep....and led every day not very different from the other ....and to be honest the Pixie didn't even know she was one.....

Till one fine day a Goblin appeared in her dreams and asked the Pixie....Do you know you are a Pixie?!!

Pixie gave a surprised look and asked.....and what the hell does that mean??!!

Goblin gave a wicked laughter and said it means my dear you have magical powers....but alas!!!

Pixie....now even more surprised.....asked. ..Why alas...??!!

Goblin smiled that know it all smile and said....because you didn't know you had magical powers...... and now that you know you don't have too much time to enjoy exercising your powers....

Pixie ... Huh....what....How much time I have....and what exactly do you mean by magical powers....even if I know now....how the hell do I exercise my powers.....

Goblin guffawed and said.....my dear they are your individual unique powers....you need to learn to exercise them yourself.....no one can tell you how.....

Pixie (annoyed now)....rolling her eyes asked. ...ok and what if I dont learn to ever........ in that limited time limit of yours....

Goblin now winked and said....ok I have a deal!!

Pixie (more annoyed now) ...And that is?!

Goblin....you make a wish list....and keep adding things to the wish list....the longer the wish list the more the time you get....

Pixie (giving up now) .....I don't think I have any wish list......And even if I make one....who the hell is going to fulfil them.....and how.....

Goblin again with his wicked wink....I just told you that you are a Pixie....with magical powers.....remember!!

Pixie.....you mean I will make a wish list....and I will only fulfil them....what if I am not interested.....I don't want any magical powers....I am happy being ordinary I guess....

Goblin.....you will surprise yourself....especially now that I have established the time limit....you just start with the list....and you will see how many wishes you have....they will just add on.. 

Pixie.....great!!!... so I will keep making wishes u mean which will remain unfulfilled?!

Goblin (thinking) .....That's the only way to buy time.....remember you are a rare Pixie and you need to believe in it....and who knows if you make an interesting wish some day....(he winked again)....may be I will help you fulfil it....

And with that the Goblin disappeared....

Pixie kept wondering....what were those magical powers Goblin was talking about....and what was that time limit for....what will happen if her time exhausts Goblin didn't tell her. ....But it didn't seem like it will be a good thing....she looked at the sleeping dwarf and the little elfin and she fell for the deal....she decided to buy time....and she started making her wish list.....she kept adding things to the wish list....just as the Goblin had said....but the Goblin never appeared again...days months and seasons passed....she kept adding to the list but Goblin didn't appear.......slowly she discovered that Goblin was probably right....she started liking her wish list with time....she even had started tick marking against few wishes in her list.... fulfilling them on her own.....magically may be...although she still couldn't discover her Pixie specific magical powers...... She still felt ordinary most of the times.....but the Goblin had said....that she was a rare Pixie..for a while the Pixie had even started looking for some kind of external endorsement on the rarity factor......but with time the Pixie started to learn to believe it herself.....And she loved to believe in that.....it just felt nice to live with that belief......whether she discovered her powers or not it didn't matter to her anymore........she was different.....if not magically....but otherwise........and she had started to probably love and live with the difference.......and that way two years passed since the Goblin had last appeared.....

One fine day wishfully the Pixie made a wish list again and added some wishes which she thought were definitely difficult to fulfil this time......but then that was the Goblin's deal for buying time wasn't it......thats what he had said....And after making the wish list when she slept... ....Goblin appeared again.....much to the Pixie's surprise........What did you come to tell me now.....Pixie asked......Is my time over or what.......And the Goblin answered with a calm smile......No my dear.....I came to fulfil your wish list this time....should I fulfil them!!.....And the Pixie as usual was again lost in her confusion.....she didn't know whether to answer in affirmative or not......it was her Wishlist after all.....she had herself made it.....just that she had not really believed that the Goblin will ever really appear to fulfil it!!

And the Pixie smiled and played the Goblin's trick this time...... and left the decision to the Goblin.....!!

Blogging by the beach....

Life - From my Kaleidoscope!! 

So, finally after 8-10 years of stay in Mumbai, we did visit Goa....well, why we didn't plan a visit to the most frequently visited place by Mumbaikars God alone knows...maybe because I never have had a great interest for beaches and water sports or casinos and parties....but it never occurred to me somehow that Goa is an abode of Portuguese churches and if not for the beach and the party I could have come to Goa for the churches!! It's only after S visiting Goa for his office off-site that it occurred to him that I will love the place for it's churches ( which we surprisingly never thought of in these many years) that he brought me to Goa....

And that's when I thought that I should fulfil my wish of blogging by the beach :)....since I have never blogged earlier about the places I have visited ( simply because I don't think I have the right words to do justice to them) ...But nevertheless there has to be a beginning somewhere...so let me start with Goa.....

So,  Goa..... the most sought after place for partying....also does have something in store for people like me who belong to the non-party animal kind of species....starting with the beautiful Portuguese style houses....painted bright blue green red.....  that adorn the narrow lanes and give you a feeling of landing in Portuguese culture when you go around the lanes on a ride in a Scooty....and you should have seen the thrill on my little Son's face who was experiencing a Scooty ride for the first time and wanted to know in what way can the scooty be transported to Mumbai!!  (Well I had experienced my first ride when I was six times his age!!)....the mystical churches where I definitely can spend all my time if I am left there....specially the ruins of St. Augustine church and the church with the weeping cross (where it seems on two particular days the wounds of Jesus had opened and blood had oozed out with tears flowing down his eyes)....because of my love for churches we also went discovering some not so known churches.....each one of them beautiful in their own way...I don't know why but I always love ruins and age old architectures with historic significance....old civilizations and ruins of age old religious places....may be just for the history they store in those broken reddish greyed out rocks....when I walk on them it overwhelms me thinking that years and years ago these powerful places must be trodden upon by people belonging to another era....so many stories the walls must be holding in them associated with each individual who must have prayed there.....some fulfilled some unfulfilled......so many generations those very rocks must be associated with....It somehow instills the feeling that nothing ever lasts in life......what remain are just the memories stored in the form of ruins...... Only memories can beat the test of time......and nothing else......I simply love places that have deep association with age old history!! 

For the first time spent one whole day at the beach.....although I personally am not a great fan of beaches....and I always thought what's the big deal about spending time at the beach....... But this was S's idea....and this was the first time ever I actually spent an ENTIRE day at the beach....... from sunrise to sunset.......And it felt sooo good.....cocktails accompanied with some music and delicious Goan sea food at a shack by the beach.....overlooking the waves hitting the shore...and their soothing sound....with the misty wind blowing in your face... And with your four year old busy making castles in the sand almost taking a bath in the sand.......with you just lying there like a log letting all your thoughts come and go in waves.......flowing with a free spirit.......without a care in the world........Is a perfect recipe for some nostalgia to hit you!! 

Someone recently had laughed when I said I am visiting Goa for the first time and that too in mid thirties with a kid....but I think age is not a factor for what I have come to see in Goa :)!!

Wedding Bells!!

Me (Lazily) : So,  should we do something for our tenth wedding anniversary!!

S: Yawn

Me: Should we throw a small party....invite few frens....cook stuff and all

S (second yawn) : Hmmmm sure!! 

Me: No,  but that will be lot of running around,planning and cooking...... .May be we should do something else

S: hmmmm

Me: Should we go some where.....like a holiday

S: OK sure

Me: Kerela?!

S: Ok

Me: Will Phuket be better? 

S: Sure

Me: What about Sri Lanka? 

S: Third Yawn

Me: Are you even interested?!

S: Stifling the fourth yawn (with the fear of being thrown out of house this time) let's go to Goa
Me: Goa?!!!

And just then phone rings. ....call from home. ....Brother's wedding date has been decided....and guess what.. .It's the same day as yours!!

And so the plan was decided....so, there have been two weddings this year in our immediate families with 2 BIG coincidences in store for S and me. One being on the very same day as our tenth wedding anniversary and second being held at the same place as our wedding 10 yrs back.....!!

To step into the very same place after over a decade and see my Son running all around the place. ..did feel a bit funny (or I don't know what is the right word to use) ....(its different that we just didn't get time to even click one good snap of all three of us together at the venue ....(eyes rolling)!!) Not that there was too much time to think on things...but yeah a dash of nostalgia did hit....my wedding was the very first time I ever draped a Saree.. .and I swear to God it was so so uncomfortable (not that today is any better though) .....Complete chaos....with people running all around me that day. ....so many people staring at me with photographer's complete focus on us had felt so so odd....I even remember people telling me ....smile. ..you are not smiling enuf....dont spoil the photos...I vaguely remember even S whispering to me on the mandap. ..Don't be nervous. .....and even my dad asking me. ....are you scared.....today I see people posing so nicely for their wedding shoot (should have done that then....anyways I am still so bad at smiling for clicks!!)....wedding had run till 4 am in the morning till I had become a complete zombie....and just like a robot had done what was being told by the pandit and had left after vidayii completely blank with no energy left...not even to cry (I was that blank) !!....I think except for my own wedding I have shed some tears for everyone else's vidayii....really difficult to control if 10 ladies howl around you (yeah... remember now no control on tears!! ) 

Anyways, Weddings as always are great fun....each wedding is an experience in itself....sangeet mehendi( I must say is a task for the bride....and for a mom of a 4 yr old too)  haldi.....no words can describe the enthu levels and the jest for life of certain people.....but. ...minus the amount of effort that goes in wearing all those bright heavy clothes and jewellery and then taking them off...phew!!Yes I am a female and I am just NOT fond of all the dressing up and jewellery !! And yes our kind of species do exist on this Earth....much to some people's dismay!!....may be that's why for my Brother's wedding for one of the occasions...when, immediately after the photographer left I changed into my heavenly home wear.....and entered the arena. ...first there was pin drop silence for at least 30 seconds...may be they took some time to absorb.. ...and then all the ladies of the house fell behind my life....you are the groom's only sister....how can you change. ..And that too into home wear....change back....what will people say. ...they will all look at you. ....How will you go like this for dinner. ....And I had one answer " I am I. ...I don't care.. ..I just can't take it anymore. ...just let me be. ..."people" will look at me and not you. ...So you don't bother"....and my relatives were just aghast. ...Someone came and told in my ear "what about your inlaws" and someone even had gone up to S asking him to convince me. ....when that also didn't change my mind. ...they finally gave up..... on me !!  So, that's our "people".....but of course not that I can repeat that stunt everywhere!! (definitely not.. ...when the wedding is of the other side!!)

But even today, you do get to hear to some stray sentences in weddings like "after the phere the bride is theirs.. .They will take her. ..So they can decide whatever they want to do with her"....."Post vidayii ...we need to take their permission if the bride can come and collect her things"....."Bride's looks".....And so on.....without me really getting into the feminism side here....but still the sentences ....how many years later it may be....still sound a bit in the ears and cannot go completely unheard.......yeah but the reaction then and reaction now does differ!! 

She peered at her reflection in the mirror
And searched for her
Searching hard
She hadn't looked for her in years
But she sometimes did think of her
Or maybe she didnt
But she didn't forget her....or did she
But today she suddenly remembered her
May be even missed her a bit
And decided to look for her
Trying to search for her again....
And somewhere there
Deep down....inside....under....
There she was
She was still there
Smiling
Papa's little princess!!

Black!!!

She wandered blissfully in her solitude
And walked into a store
Her eyes scanning everything on display
But resting on none

The store was teeming with colours
Shades of colours all around
Colours everywhere to see
But her eyes as always chose to see Black

Black was her colour
Why Black.... Why always Black
She never understood why
There was never any logic

She had decided to defy her eyes
She had decided to defy Black
She had decided to avoid Black
She had decided to not repeat Black

She had been picking colours all along
Mostly light
Rarely bright
As bright had always meant Black for her

But Black was Black
Black never went unnoticed
Each time, she picked Black....only to put it back
Thinking she had Enuf of Black
Not Black again

Till she realised
Black wasn't her weakness
But Black defined strength
Black was pure
As Black can never get tainted
Black absorbed everything and all the colours around

She decided to let go
And set her heart free
Let Black captivate her
Let Black own her
As her colour was Black
And will always remain Black
She walked off the store...smiling....
With Black

New Year Wish List - 2019!!

When I was in my teens I used to always fret on 31st Dec eve that why are we not going out for dinner....and my parents would just want to be at home and spend a peaceful close to the year gone by!!

When I was in my twenties and in job I used to order food home.....saying to my parents that OK you don't want to go out but at least let's order good food.....year gone by needs to be bid farewell to with good food atleast!! And I used to tune into the TV channels every year and watch alone (as my parents couldn't keep themselves awake till late) at night 12 'o clock ...all the actors appearing and wishing "Happy New Year!!"....I used to simply love to hear and see that!!

Today in mid thirties,  I don't prefer going out for dinner any more on new year eve.....I don't like getting into the crowd....I like to celebrate the new year eve with just us ......good food means something made by me at home.....I now love decorating a little something to go well with the dinner at home itself...to make it feel special....havent tuned into TV since 4 years now!! .....And I just keep myself awake to wish the nearest and closest people at the strike of 12 and go to sleep immediately after that.....so that I wake up to New Year messages, wishes and replies on my phone!! (And probably now I can understand my parents liking for staying at home on new year's eve now!! )

And now it's a Happy start to the new year when:

• Your little Son hugs you and gives a kiss when the tiny Chinese lights you decorated and his tiny face glow in the dark (when he switches them on) 
• When you are asked to repeat the dish you made for New year eve again
• When you wear something new to office....just for the sake of another new beginning
• When you sneak out of office at 4-30 PM
• When you walk in time for evening Arati to the temple in your society
• When you have a nice long refreshing walk after ages and treat yourself to Tiramassu 
• When you reach home early and surprise your Son
• When you bake your Son's favourite cake and see him eagerly waiting with a spoon for it to cool down so that he can relish on it
• And you just can't get over watching and listening to "The song of the Golden Dragon" by Estas Tonne (shared by S) 

So, now for the wish list (I was calling it bucket list.....but one of my frens was so cross with my usage of the word that I decided to rephrase it!!) ....So here it goes!!

• To experience snow fall
• To get drunk once
• To sit in a hot air balloon
• To go on a cruise
• To go camping with a tent and bonfire like in a forest kinds
• To go on one solo trip all alone all by myself
• To go backpacking in Europe
• To go for the trans Siberian railway tour
• To read read and read (one thing I regret for having stopped) 
• To try my hand at pencil sketching and canvas painting
• To write a book
• To participate in blogging blocks again
• To design interiors of my own house
• To do a degree abroad
• To join a NGO
• To take the count of my close friends in the list to 10
• To learn to forget and forgive
• To learn to do things for sheer happiness without any expectations whatsoever 

As of now,  that's like the wish list....lets see how much of it gets fulfilled in 2019.....!! And for more to get added in the list that gets spilled over.....in the coming years :P!!