And I am jealous….

She had a tinkling laughter which was infectious
She had many looks and looked the best in any form...but I didn't want to look at her
Her laughter would just buzz in my ears and I would shudder away
As I was jealous….

She would turn her face and look at me…with child like innocence..and smile beseechingly..
And I was cognizant of her eyes following me…I knew she wasn’t ridiculing me…yet I felt she was
I wanted her to go away…her presence was eating into my mental peace…
As I was jealous….

My mind and heart were at battle over her…one wanted to follow her and one wanted to possess her…
I wanted neither…
As I was jealous….

She still stood there by my side…just at an arm’s length…seductive that she was..nothing seemed to intimidate her
Neither my ignoring her…nor my hatred for her…nor my avoidance of her…
I knew what she was thinking…yet I didn’t want to acknowledge….
As I was jealous….

She continued smiling….her eyes telling me…I am with you….you possess me as well as follow me..
Why then are you jealous….

I closed my eyes…my heart and mind echoing aloud…I know I do…but I can only see you in others…not in me as my possession ….
whereas I had struggled so hard to make you mine…. And you had gone to them just at the wink of the eye…
And I am jealous….

She laughed loudly the same crystal clear tinkling infectious laughter and said
And my dear the others that you are talking about see me in you
And that’s why they are jealous….