Illusions are they....

Why is it that it is always the past which seems to be more appealing than the present. Is it because there is no uncertainty in the past….its something that you have gone over and triumphed over all the ups and downs……but wasn’t it the the very past which had always pushed us to be what we are in the present today……and will today’s present when it is past someday seem as dream like…..

When I was a kid , I remember my father had got transferred to a district and had to report immediately. I didn’t want to part from my friends…..I had settled down comfortably in the city school and a district school didn’t at all lure me…I cried helplessly when I was dragged away to the district. The first day I had stepped in the district school I was disgusted looking at the simple appearance of the school with no extra frills and no prim uniformed students walking meekly in a queue….I found utter chaos everywhere to my horror and clinged to my father denying to be part of what seemed like a rowdy like crowd….

But my woes went unheard…and all that my father said before leaving me to the mercy of these troublemakers was “wait and see your memory of this school will always stay close to your heart”….

I walked alone along the corridor leading to my class wistfully looking back at my father again and again till he disappeared around the corner and I was all alone….I muttered a silent prayer before entering the class and stepped in shivering a little in my nervousness…..and as soon as I had stepped in the class surprisingly fell silent with a single murmur passing around which sounded like “new joinee…new joinee” and after that the entire class was at the doors to welcome me…..each house (which was allotted based in the row you were seated in) wanted me to be a part of theirs….everybody wanted to know my name and my mother tongue and all other details…..I was offered every little goodie each one possessed ……I was offered notes of all the classes I had missed…..and some of the students even offered to write notes on my behalf and update me on all the classes I had missed as the exams were soon approaching…….any teacher who entered the class was importantly informed about the new joinees arrival….and even the neighbouring sections students paid a vist in the recess to gain acquaintance……such was the welcome and the days that followed just sailed past like a dream…

Little did it matter…that the students didn’t know English….discipline did exist but the fancies of a spic and span uniform with shoes to go with was not of prime concern…..a lot of creativity existed in the school and was encouraged equally…..homeworks were checked but a small mark on the cover of the notebook didn’t create a raucous….the warmth of the students seemed to override the shabby building and the broken English…..Teachers were not looked upon like Hitler’s army…and the memory of that school sure did remain very dear to my heart…..

And when I compared the royal treatment that I got here with that of the city school I was in where I had entered meekly as a mice and no one had even noticed me….some of the teachers even had not noticed that there was a new face in the class…when I asked for notes of classes that I had missed to the students around me I was ridiculed…..my heavily accented broken English was a source of entertainment to the teachers and students…I still remember the teacher who knew that I felt embarrassed because of the constant giggles when I spoke in English and she always loved to make me read lessons to the class and become a mockery….spic and span uniforms, neatly covered books, huge playground and freshly painted building…..but it missed the charm of the district school….no human warmth……

Now, why I got reminded of this today is because of an incident that happened in the train today. A girl standing near me was complaining to her friend about her IT job and how she detests it but for the friends she had made in her job….and that’s why she wanted to pursue higher studies and go another college experience and a better job….a better job meaning higher bucks, more responsibility and less of every other thing which seem significant only when they aren’t there any longer…

And it just made me think frills and fancies lure us so much that we always seem to want to leave the warmth of our present and follow them but little do we realize that when at leisure we ponder its only that past which was simple and dull that it had seemed then is what forms our memory….but alas its too late now to return…..because a better tomm is as much uncertain as the certain good yesterday….present is just a shuttle between the two….pondering on one and unable to compromise with the other….