She...

Three years old she is...playing innocently across the hallway in her mother’s lap...while her mother is trying to comb her hair into a pretty little plait...arranging her curly hair across the forehead...making her look like a doll....the innocence in her baby smile and the eagerness with which her big eyes are absorbing her mother’s words when she says...one day my little angel will be a big girl ...she would study hard and earn a lot of name and show everyone that she is no less...and everyone around will say that’s my angel...

Little does the little angel know...that she is going to tread a tough path ahead...her mother weaves in her her aspirations and ambitions so that her angel is no less than a guy tomorrow...and so does the innocent eyes of the little girl believe....As time flies she will be gifted dolls and will be taught to dream...dream of all that she wanted to do and was not allowed to as it was not lady like...and so her ability to soar high in her dreamland will begin... she ceases to exist in reality and her advent to the surreal world that she weaves takes an initiation...The trophies that she bags will be treasured by her mom more than anyone else....She will see the spark of her ambition in her mother’s eyes which she would like to fulfil...Her little innocent eyes which had naively taken her mother’s words for granted then...realization will dawn when she will know it was just another fairy tale...

Beauty being her identification in the society...homeliness being her appeal...house hold responsibility being her inevitable responsibility...earning her morsel a necessity...Her ambitions can be compromised with...judging her would be a legacy ....and her complaints not understood........ Numerous such expectations would unfold infront of her which will leave her to shun her innocence and grab the garb of a lady....toughness being her soul and patience her weapon...tears being the gift of God to vent out her emotions...and endurance her strength. Equipped with all these she would stand to face the vast waves of the ocean all alone....

Her mother’s moist eyes will dream of her little angel in a bridal dress painting the canvass of her life with beautiful colors....hoping against hope that her little angel is not standing alone to face the waves and has a supporting hand and a shoulder to lean on when she is gone....And she will gift her the garb of a woman....when her little angel is old enough and ready to take a leap ahead ....to be a woman from being the lady she was....A subtle change bringing a world of unexplainable transformation in her life...Here her mother will learn that her role is over and now her little angel is left on her own to discover the woman in her and endure it , comprehend it, understand it and love it for no one else would or no else can except she herself...

For she will shudder and wouldn’t want to submit to being a woman she would want to be her mother’s little angel again believing innocently to her mother’s words...oblivious of the future she has to face.... oblivious to the fact that she is being moulded to be a woman someday.... Yet, a time will come when she will wait...she will wait for an identity of her own...she will wait for her own little angel in whom she can see her reflection...her self...and that day she would truely comprehend the mysticism and divinity of her existence...she would be liberated , she would be happy....she would realize and she would be thankful that she is a girl...a lady...a woman...and her little angel will also grow to be one some day.

House to Home….

No, this post isn’t about lamenting about being far from parents…missing home…or anything of that sort…its about my home…yeah today it feels so very special that I thot let me post about it…

Since morning I have been busy cleaning the house…didn’t take a shower…didn’t have food….just wanted to first make my house a home first and only then do other things…strangely I didn’t even feel filthy cleaning the house…Its true when people say what a guy would term as clean a girl will never do so till she sees it spotlessly clean. And as Murphy’s law goes my maid turned up after I cleaned the entire house thinking that she wouldn’t come and she said…Bhabie aap aa gayi…ab ja ke ghar saaf lag raha hai…par aap ek hi din mein pura ghar kyun saaf kar rahe ho…bhaiyya ko toh pata bhi nahi chalega…aap thoda araam se karo na…I just smiled and closed the door…and finally now when I look all around me I just feel like taking it all in cherishing the feeling of being in my home. My mother too always used to tell me …housewives keep working all day long and at the end of the day when they go to sleep their work never has value…rather no one values their work…but today when I look at my home…sparkling clean…each and every corner cleaned by me…I feel the value of putting in 8 hours of labour…how does it matter if anyone values my work or not…the value of looking at my shining little home is just overwhelming and priceless…

I wonder how people sell off their houses and go for new houses...how come they don't develop any attachments with the place they first started their lives in...together making it into a home an abode where they celebrated and took the first step of their life together...May be the attachment wears off over time...probably a bigger house occupies enough space in the dreams to have no place left for the old memories attached to thier very first home...

Year 2010....

So here comes 2010.... The beginning of another year...the advent of a new beginning, new hopes, new wishes...Its always so nice to welcome the start of a new year...to see people rejoicing all around you...

On the eve of every new year I always get reminded of the year that has passed...and where I was the last time I celebrated new year with others...as it happens last year I happened to be at my parents place and was stuck up with some stupid assignment with some course and didn’t know what to do as I was not on campus...so I just didn’t realize when last year had started and how time flew...but today when I sit to gather my thots I am just realizing it was just two yrs back when I was celebrating the start of the year 2008 and the year before that had passed in lot of personal ups and downs...little did I know what the year 2008 and the next year had in store for me...and when I had wished that hope this year goes well probably God just took of time to listen to my wishes...

Year 2008 had marked a new beginning in my life....as I happened to meet my husband that year and pursue my dream of doing higher studies that year and year 2009 happened just follow 2008 fulfilling my professional ambitions and today when I welcome the year 2010 I again know it will be the start of my new life...it will be a year full of promises...which will bring in togetherness, new responsibilities, Start of my new home,love, sharing and a little bit of adjustment, start of a new career , new friends and a new work life. Its going to be another remarkable year...

With all the happiness and eagerness that I look forward to for the year 2010...I also have this stint of a feeling that the count of the number of years that I am not going to be with my parents is only going to increase from now on...its like the phase in which I was learning to fly with the help of my parents is over now and I am all set to fly...just like the younger birds have to leave the comfort of their parents nests once their parents teach them how to fly only taking their blessings along to face the world alone...

Hoping that year 2010 marks a new beginning bidding adieu to 2009 for everyone and is as prosperous as the celebrations that are welcoming the year ahead...Wishing one and all a very Happy New Year 2010...